In the eyes of many, Aaron Rodgers has dragged out his decision for far too long.
Rodgers told this mystery YouTuber that he is not the person holding up the deal.
He says the official announcement is being held up by negotiations between the Packers & Jets.
Sure, it’syour intentionto play for the Jets, but things aren’t always that simple.
We don’t always get what we want.
There is likely a reason things are being held up between the 2 sides.
It’s not guaranteed that the Jets & Packers will come to an agreement.
What does Rodgers do if his deal with the Jets falls off the table?
This next paragraph address Aaron Rodgers directly:
What then, Aaron Rodgers?
Are you prepared to make a decision if negotiations go south?
If that happens, are you in the right state of mind to deal with it?
Then you landed on the New York Jets.
That tweet is a joke.
Aaron Rodgers did not announce such a thing on YouTube.
It was nothing more than cheap joke made for an ok amount of likes.
SIKE
That isexactlywhat Aaron Rodgers needs to do.
This is a man who has made millions upon millions of dollars doing dumb publicity stunts like this.
He’s about to sign a contract for millions more.
Evidently this shit works.
Aaron Rodgers is worth $200 million dollars.
How much money are you worth?
Have you ever spent 4 days in darkness?
Have you ever traveled to South America to go on a spiritual ayahuasca journey?
Oh, you haven’t?
Maybe you fucking should.
Whatever Aaron Rodgers has done in the past has clearly worked.
If the Jets deal falls through, he’s going to need to do it again.
Imagine how embarrassing it would be if the Jets don’t work out.
A 2 week fast in a Vietnamese prison camp might be exactly what he needs.
Quiet Room4 days in darkness was clearly an effective strategy, so why not try a quiet room?
Thankfully, in 2015, Microsoft constructed the quietest room in the world.
Classic FM- After a number of minutes, youll begin to hear your own heartbeat.
Stick it out a little longer, and youll hear your own blood flowing and bones grinding.
I’ve never heard of a room more up Aaron Rodgers alley than Microsoft’s quiet room.
Rest assured, when he is finally released, he’ll be ready to make a decision.
Aaron Rodgers has been tormenting Bears his whole career.
After spending a day sleeping inside of the bear (i.e.
Surgical Osteomy
A surgical osteomy is a procedure performed by a reconstructive surgeon.
It is excruciatingly painful, and will undoubtedly hinder Aaron Rodgers mobility in the pocket.
It would, however, make him up to 6 inches taller.
As Rodgers ages, his mobility is going to fade regardless.
But if he were 6'8", his mobility would be much less of a concern.
A surgical osteomy would not only lengthen Rodger’s legs, it would lengthen his career.
But more importantly, Aaron Rodgers loves “taking a journey” before making a big decision.
9/11 Hero Simulation
Hear me out.
It’s no secret that Aaron Rodgers is an ego-maniac.
When dealing with an ego-maniac, sometimes you better bite the bullet and feed that part of their brain.
Do you remember 9/11?
Well, we set Aaron Rodgers up for a flight with roughly 100 passengers + full flight crew.
All of them are actors.
The passengers start to freak out.
“OMG THEY’RE HIJACKING THE PLANE, SOMEBODY HELP US!”
“ARE THERE ANY TALENTED, ABLE-BODIED PASSENGERS ON BOARD WHO CAN STOP THEM?!
MAYBE A PROFESSIONAL ATHELTE OF SOME SORT?!”
“OMG LOOK, IT’S AARON RODGERS!
HELP US AARON RODGERS, YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE!!”
Aaron Rodgers springs into action.
He finds a strategically placed led pipe below his seat and charges the hijackers.
There’s a long cinematic fight between Rodgers and the hijackers.
After about 10 minutes of action, Aaron Rodgers is able to apprehend the hijackers and save the day.
“AARON RODGES WE LOVE YOU!
YOU’RE A NATIONAL HERO!
Rodgers stands at a podium conveniently setup outside of the airport gate, and gives an extraordinarily humble speech.
The crowd goes wild.
Even I couldn’t have done what you did today.”
We have 6 months until the start of the NFL season.
That is PLENTY enough time to develop and overcome a severe addiction.
I’m thinking a combination of heroin and Xanax would be the hardest to overcome.
2 months before the start of the season, he’ll check into rehab.
The first month will be hell on earth for Rodgers.
It will be harder than anything he’s ever done in his entire life.
There will be times where he wants to die.
But in the end, he’ll get through it.
Most likely, none of this will be necessary.
I just want him to be prepared for the worst case scenario.
