Congrats to David Blough and the Arizona Cardinals.
At least you won’t go winless in thepreseason.
As for when the actual games start?
Very much in play without the services of franchise quarterback Kyler Murray.
Only joking a little about that.
Arizona’sOver/Under win total is set at 4.5.
As long as a proper destination could be found for the young man Arizona once drafted first overall.
Look at Kyler cheering his mates on during last night’s 18-17 win!
You’d think he’d never want to leave!
…Again, wait till the season starts and the L’s pile up.
How could it happen with two high-priced QBs seemingly tied to their current teams for multiple seasons to come?
“WHAT A STUPID HYPOTHETICAL THIS IS!”
you might be thinking if you hate this sort of thing.
you’ve got the option to’t tell me this isn’t more interesting than the preseason.
Double-negative but let’s roll with it.
Plus, the Cardinals could get at least one first-round pick in exchange for Kyler.
That’s so far beyond fuck-you money.
Walton could light $5 billion on fire and it wouldnt matter in the slightest.
The new ownership group forked overa reported $18 million annually for Sean Paytonto be their new coach.
If Russ sucks this year, they will not hesitate to move on.
They shitcanned Nathaniel Hackett REAL QUICK.
Russ has no guaranteed salary beyond 2024.
Shoutout to Over The Cap, by the way, for helping out with all these scenarios.
This is, of course, assuming no contract restructuring or finagling happens at all.
Or at least Kyler probably would.
Arizona has one of the least-liquid owners, so admitting defeat on Kyler would be tough to swallow.
The salary cap is going to go way up.
League revenue shares are going to keep skyrocketing.
And how awesome would this be for Payton?
He could, in essence, mold Kyler the way he molded Drew Brees.
Only Kyler has a stronger arm, similar flawless mechanics to Brees, and fucking turbo boosters for legs.
I have this really loose working hypothesis about the NFL.
If both key cogs have it, even better.
Its guaranteed to fail if neither coach nor QB give off that pop in of energy.
If there is, I havent seen him.
To be fair, the man knew he was doomed.
I think Davis Mills celebrated his 4th and 20 heave that cost Houston the No.
You never know whats going on between those ears.
Behind those signature shades.
Maybe hes like Ken and using the glasses to hide his sadness at all the QB/organizational instability in Washington.
I guess Heinicke is kinda fiery, if not particularly good.
Mariota is self-explanatorily flat-line.
Watch that NetflixQuarterbackseries if years of proof in the public eye didn’t convince you.
Saints:Dennis Allen-Andy Dalton/Jameis Winston Jameis is weird, off-putting and faux competitive, IMO.
The dream is fucking dead.
As for Andy, still love you Red Rifle.
Recently called his brief stint in Indy a “shit show.”
Bears:Matt Eberflus-Justin Fields I couldprobablypick Eberflus out of Big Cats annual coaches photo.
I doubt the vast majority of decently-informed NFL fans outside of Chicago could.
Rooting for the Bears to turn it around, to be clear.
Justin Fields is a JFF I can actually get behind and have hope for.
…Moral of the story: None of those teams even sniffed the playoffs.
I’m sure I’m missing some but alas we must move forward.
This year, we might get the likes of Todd Bowles and Kyle Trask in Tampa Bay.
Pray for Steve Cheah.
Its either Trask or the other outcome: The fiery-but-frequently-shittily-performing Baker Mayfield.
Two soft-spoken gridiron lads, them fellas.
Trevor Lawrence and Doug Pederson are an excellent match.
Neither of them have crazy shit going on, other than T-Law’s long locks of flowing Jesus hair.
Both are laidback, love football and can seemingly still have fun while winning.
This was a recent development.
The Jags shocked everyone with that hot finish to steal the AFC South.
Cut me some slack.
Sean Payton is as intense of a coach as you could ever ask for.
Kyler cant stand the toxic dysfunction and losing in Arizona.
Making fun of his frustration and lacking film study used to be fun.
Then I realized its kinda sad.
Tantalizing possibilities to entertain for both parties.
Houston and Arizona are tied for thelongest Super Bowl odds at +20000.
So yeah, Cards.
Hope that Kyler returns sooner than expected from a torn ACL and takes you on a miracle run.
See how that works out.
1 wide receiver in Marvin Harrison Jr.
Twitter @MattFitz_gerald/TikTok
