Over the last month, Ive embarked ona whirlwind internet romancewith Hilda, a woman I met on Hinge.
That all changed last week when I found conclusive proof of Hildas existence.
But before that could happen, we agreed on one more virtual date: Strip bowling.
Here are the rules: Each player wears five items of clothing to start.
With tennis balls in hand and laptops filming the lanes, we let the game commence.
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Besides, its hot this evening and I want to take my jumper off.
So I chuck a few tennis balls down the imaginary gutter.
Suddenly, Hilda then goes on a roll of her own, quickly leveling the match.
We go to a deciding frame.
Hilda steps up a strike to start.
I make a run at match but one last bottle wobbles before steadying.
Shes won the game.
But sportingly, she agrees to level up the undress.
We agree its time to meet IRL.
But dont worry, I didnt break the law Hilda did.
I want to stress that this wasnt for selfish reasons.
I live alone and have been self-isolating since long before my neglectful government told citizens to stay home.
Hilda has been similarly sensible.
But as she has two flatmates, she thinks the safest option is coming to mine.
She cycles down to reduce the risk of infection.
Meeting someone in person that youve previously only spoken to an app is awkward at the best of times.
But its got even weirder in thecoronavirusera.
We plan it in advance.
Well decide on our next step when we get there.
Later that evening, I see Hilda for the first time.
She looks just like she did through a screen but shes even better company in person.
We sit on the balcony and stay up all night talking.
It was a lovely night, but when she leaves, I crash back to reality.
Still, I dont regret it for a second.
We agree to do something more interactive for our next date, but withoutbreaking quarantine this time.
Instead, well settle back into our online relationship.
And if she somehow gets pregnant, I can live blog the birth.
Then when we bitterly divorce, I might broadcast thecourt case in VR.
Story byThomas Macaulay
Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he e(show all)Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he enjoys playing chess (badly) and the guitar (even worse).
