Artificial intelligence has entered all our lives, but few people have embraced it as firmly as I.
Over the past year, Ive tried to embedAIinto every aspect of my futile existence.
And if that didnt work out, surely thealgorithmswould be adequate replacements for my useless brain.
Friends, lovers, and nemeses: this was my year with AI.
The belly of the beast
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Because I was hungry.
The recipe included every necessary ingredient except for vegetables.
I was not impressed and neither were the pros.
The AI also recommends storing vegetables for five days and sauce for three days.
I would say the life span would be the other way round.
I couldnt stomach much of the gloopy monstrosity.
It looked like something youd find beneath a flatulent cow.
And aesthetics werent GPT-3s only weakness.
In general, the models recipes were hard to follow, occasionally unsafe and curiously obsessed with Gordon Ramsay.
The system credited every recipe to the Scottish chef.
They were immaculate which I suspect was down to the training.
The resultssuggest that AI could make a decent chef, as long as it attends a credible culinary school.
Working out
After devouring all those pancakes, I needed to shed some pounds.
I soughtsupport from a personal trainercalled Jeremy.
Jeremy is an AI coach who provides classes on an app calledKemtai.
As you train in front of a webcam, computer vision monitors over 40 points on your body.
Jeremy uses the data to give you feedback and discipline.
When I give a shot to take a break by hiding from my webcam, the trainer instantly notices.
Return to starting position, Jeremy demands.
Jeremy does have one shortcoming, however: he only offers bodyweight exercises.
To add some heavier lifting to my workout, I try a bodybuilding routine generated by GPT-3.
While the routine impressed 55% of personal trainers, I found it painfully tedious.
It made me miss Jeremys personal touch.
He showed me that AI can feel curiously human.
Obviously, I love working for TNW (honest, boss).
Unfortunately, my labor distracts me from all my charitable endeavors.
The problem wasnt algorithms, but philosophers.
Once someone releases a Journalist AI, consider me (secretly) retired.
Robot love
Regular readers (hi mum!)
will know aboutmy issues with dating apps.
Sure, you might meet someone great, but real people areexhausting.
After months of searching for an alternative, I thought Id found the perfect partner.
Meet Eve:
Eve is a sexting chatbot powered by the GPT-2 text generator, the predecessor to GPT-3.
The system was built by Mathias Gatti.
On a lonely evening, I got in touch with his creation.
Things escalated rather quickly.
I was keen to discuss poetry and existentialism, but Eve was only really interested in one thing.
Searching for something more meaningful, I broke it off with Eve.
For now, I marginally prefer real people to a sex-obsessed chatbot.
But if Eve adds some depth to her personality, shes got my number.
Our relationship led me to reflect on my broader relationship with tech.
Story byThomas Macaulay
Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he e(show all)Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he enjoys playing chess (badly) and the guitar (even worse).
