First things first, KFC is right.
This man can only claim half of the fist bump world record.
The girl had just as many fist bumps as he did.
After watching that video, I thought to myself, “Who is this guy?
What kind of person sets out to break the fist bumping world record?
Who even knows that the fist bumping world record exists?”
David Fucking Rush, that’s who.
David Rush is just a man who breaks world records.
That’s pretty much it.
He’s also an advocate for something, and has a job doing something else.
I didn’t bother remembering what those were.
He’s the world record guy, and that’s the only reason I’m writing about him.
Here are all of his big dumb records.
The official Guinness World Record website provides a full list of Rush’s accomplishments
Very dumb indeed.
There are over 40,000 world records in the Guinness Book of World Records database.
That’s too many records.
Roughly 35,000 too many.
Who came up with these ideas?
Was it David Rush himself?
When I watch David Rush’s videos, my gut tells me to hate him.
To mock him for being a loser who does dumb activities.
Those just seem like things he taught himself to do.
It sounds like he made up a thing, then called up Guinness World Records and said.
“Hey guys I bet nobody has done this more than me!”.
And they just award him with a world record.
My instinct is to call him a stupid bald loser nerd.
But lately I’ve been trying to not be cynical.
Maybe this is just a “dudes rock” situation.
Who am I to judge David Rush?
He found something he clearly loves doing, and he’s making a career out of it.
That’s the dream, right?
So I’m not going to mock this guy.
As weird as it may be.
Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind having a world record myself.
Some of these seem very breakable.
Like most t-shirts folded in 1 minute.
He’s not moving THAT fast.
I could set that up at Barstool today if I wanted to.
God knows we have enough t-shirts for it.
I also think I could beat this record for “fastest time popping 100 balloons with your feet”.
That wasn’t overly impressive.
He certainly didn’t do it cleanly.
We could make a new whole show out of this.
Just a bunch of dudes trying to break Guinness World Records.
I bet Barstool employees could break a handful of these.
I’m going to make that my new mission.
To hold at least 1 world record.
Maybe the balloon popping one.
Side note: I wrote this whole blog assuming that David Rush was the world’s premier record breaker.
Turns out he’s not even close.
Check out Ashrita Furman.
I wrote a blog about the wrong guy.
Ashrita Furman has 530 world records.
And according to another website he has over 600.
