Am I seeing that calendar correctly?
Is it already…..January 31st?
The last day of the month?
And Im only at (gulp) 34 blogs….
Oh my goodness, what should I do?
35 blogs per month or no paycheck.
Thank God the full-time employees dont have to abide by that.
How would they eat?
Yes, Nate, its finally time to put the dawg down.
I mean, I proofread 12-year-olds essays, you proofread Marty Mush blogs.
Were not so different, you and I.
And heres the thing Im willing to admit: it would be different without you, Nate.
It would be BETTER.
The only problem is that they work when its convenient for them.
This happened at 8:00 pm, and I was all over it.
I thought I had to be.
Do you not work on Fridays?
Blog the news, you lazy bum!
Their laziness makes me look lazy!
All Im saying is that Barstool should pay these guys for their content, not their on-and-off availability.
7:00 - 3:00, 3:00 - 11:00, and 11:00 - 7:00.
And then Nate can get back to doing what he tells everyone hes best at: writing.
Boom, blog fixed.
I do my job better than he does his job at a fraction of the expense to the company.
But you, Nate?
Oh my god I cant believe it, this is so cool!
Did you ever met Big Cat?
With extra butter, like.
Dont fuck with someone that has nothing to lose, Nate.
We couldve done great things together, you and I.
And now youre saying Im lying….
Im lying…..?
You are lying and I can prove it.
You keep saying you didnt withhold my blog, but the clear and obvious facts say otherwise.
Picture Marty Mush in a Spelling Bee:
(Mush) Withholding, can I get a definition?
(Judge) To hold back from action
(Mush) Can I get an example?
Anyways, you also said Im only attacking coworkers to get my contract renewed.
Another lie, as I do not and never have had a contract.
And like for the love of God quit taking credit for the new Dave/Kirk/Whitney show.
Why cant we all just be nice to each other?
Twelve minutes in and they’ll never as much as jaywalk the rest of their lives.
Anyways, thats my 35th blog of the month.
What a January it was.
Now its time to enjoy the fruits of my labor….
