[Best of 2019] We analyzed Pablo Escobar’s brother’s folding phone promo video

You think thats weird?

Well look, sorry, but I didnt make the rules.

Im pretty confident it says that in the bible or something, okay?

Actually, yeah, now I think of it; remember that painting of Jesus having his last meal?

With those 12 people all around him?

Im like 99 percent sure they were all draped in some of Ann Summers finest.

Thats where the rule comes from.

40% off TNW Conference!

First off though, you oughta watch the damn thing:

So, why am I doing this?

Why have I spent the better part of a daythinkfluencing?Because all art deserves analysis, people.

First up… men?

Men… we need to talk.

Yeah, come closer, sit on my knee.

Now, tell me,whats going on?

Somewhere, a group of dudes sat around and came up with the idea for this video.

Actual people (read: men).

Fellow men, do we really want to be characterized like this?

Do we really want to be seen as flabby flesh balls?

Who spend all day monkey-wanking?

And buying anything advertized alongside a bit of cleavage?

Then abusing ourselves again?

Until we waste away from all the monkey-wanking?

And turn to dust?

Sexist, sexist bits of dust?

Okay, a few.

This actually begs a further question: the people working at Pablo Escobars brothers company ever met… anyone?

Really, it makes you think.

On one hand, this is correct.

Or, more accurately, 50 percent of the phone is.

But, thats not the point.

Oh, and the sexual harassing thing too.

Despite the unmined potential above, all the true analysis I have left is this: Come on.

And this is a goddamn tragedy.

Lets try and summarize this, okay?

And if you disagree?

Then youre probably a crock of shit too.

Also tagged with