Apparently, she follows me on Instagram.
This set off a wave of confusion.
What does this mean?
What’s Veronika trying to tell me?
Karolines, Veronikas… shame on you.)
Obviously, I had to respond.
It’s not every day that Tom Brady’s love interest shows interest in you.
But I felt very conflicted.
The man is heading back to the playoffs and the last thing he needs is off-field distraction.
That would break Steven Cheah, and I am very fond of Steven Cheah.
So I wrote her this message:
Then I stepped back and reconsidered.
Look at those “suggested questions” she put in for people to send her.
So I deleted that message and followed her cue:
I friendzoned her.
Nothing says “I appreciate you as a friend” more than sharing body-building secrets.
Still, I wanted to ease her gently into the friend pool and let her save face.
But then I thought, might she misunderstand my asking her zodiac sign as an attempt to flirt?
Am I being clear enough in my friendzone messaging?
I used our pet name (she calls me Frandawg) and threw the ol' H-card at her.
It’s so sterile, so bland.
Why can’t she just leave me alone?
I love my wife beyond measure.
This was just another classic example of wanting what it’s possible for you to’t have.
Like where were you when I was single, Veronikkka?
Not falling for it.
I let her have it:
Bingo.
That should leave no doubt.
But her overtures didn’t exactly qualify as harassment or threats.
And I figured I’d have a go at leave her with a shred of dignity.
No sense in calling the Instagram cops.
It wasn’t great but I knew it was good for me.
Twenty minutes later, my rage had subsided and I started to feel bad.
Maybe she wasn’t trying to ruin my marriage.
Maybe she just thought I was funny, or she’s a fan.
Now I had to fix it.
And as I unblocked her, I realized that Instagram automatically has people unfollow you when you block them.
Who am I to prevent a fan from enjoying my content?
The problem is that Veronika and I are so similar.
We’re both so stubborn.
I offered the olive branch:
No response yet.
She’ll need time.
But for now, I wish her and Tom a happy romance.
