Blacking out at Dave & Busters is always appropriate, but it’s important to do so responsibly.
As always, the worst part of this blog is how the worddon’tsis spelled.
Two letters after the apostrophe is a disaster.
Do: Have Your Wife DriveDrunk driving is the worst thing a person can do.
You’re going to be a train wreck when you leave Dave & Busters.
Don’t kid yourself by saying “I’m just going to have a couple drinks.
I’ll be fine to drive myself home”.
You’re not going to havejust a couple drinks.
Not under the bright lights of an arcade pumped full of oxygen.
Tell them to spend the afternoon at the zoo.
There will still be plenty of animals outside.
Even in the winter.
The giraffes actually like the cold.
Dave & Busters is a place for adult men to belligerently play arcade games in the early afternoon.
If there are any women or children there, it’s going to ruin the vibe.
Say you fist fight a man who talks in your backswing while playing Skee-Ball.
That’s perfectly fine.
You won’t lose your job or anything crazy like that (unless you’re a school teacher).
But if you assault a woman or child, your life might as well be over.
How would you feel if your wife or children pushed a man over the edge and ruined his life?
Call 1-800-BUSTERS if you have a problem.
Start with an appetizer of Cantina Nachos and a Giant Bavarian Pretzel.
From there, you could’t go wrong with any of the entrees.
Personally, I prefer something I have to eat with my hands.
A little bit of grease in your palms interacts well with a joystick.
Do: Learn Your Waitresses NameWaitresses love it when you frequently call them by their first name.
If you’re able to somehow shorten it into a cute nickname that’s even better.
It’s not appropriate.
I shouldn’t even have to say this.
Don’t: Berate The Manager When He Asks You to Watch Your LanguageHe hates his job enough already.
Dave & Busters is a magical place to be a customer, but a dystopian nightmare for their employees.
He’s not actually going to kick you out for motherfucking the Whack-a-Mole’s.
Do you think managing a Dave & Busters is how he envisioned life in his late 30’s?
Don’t shout obscenities at him.
Don’t take a piss on his shoes.
Don’t comment on his cleft lip.
Just say,“Sorry boss!
“, and continue behaving the exact same way you were before he said anything.
Nothing is going to happen to you.
Your Dave & Busters experience would not have been the same without Izzy’s exceptional service.
One or two pumps max on the handshake.
Definitely DO NOT give a shot to give her a hug.
Even if you mean well by it, it’s not going to come across the way you think.
Do: Exchange Your Points For PrizesYou can’t go wrong with candy.
Candy is high volume so you leave feeling like you’ve won a lot.
It’s guaranteed to be enjoyed at some point.
Personally, I like to go with Dave & Busters branded prizes.
They’re generally cheaper because Dave & Busters wants you to have their merchandise lying around the house.
One Dave & Busters Kickball for you is a lifetime of advertising for them.
Don’t: Save Up Your Winnings to Buy a Gaming CouncilTomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
you’ve got the option to’t take your Power Points with you when you die.
Plus, you want the instant satisfaction of leaving Busters with a prize every time you go.
Do: Call an Uber to Take You HomeDon’t make your wife come pick you up.
She’s already upset that you wouldn’t allow her and your daughter to join you in the arcade.
Turns out you were wrong about the giraffes.
They were definitely not outside.
They’re not going to be happy when you get home.
The least you’re able to do is find your own ride.
Happy wife, happy life.
You’ll be back soon.
Plus if you pull out a Dave & Busters card at a drugs party it gets a good laugh.
It could end up being the catalyst for the next boys trip to D & B’s
