I’ve spent the last week of my life moving into a new apartment.
It goes..
1.
Loss of a loved one
2.
Child birth
Unfortunately, I’ve have to move a lot.
And don’t get me wrong.
DO: HIRE MOVERS
I really could have made this whole blog about the importance of hiring movers.
Hiring movers is one of the few things in life I am passionate about.
Soliciting the help of friends for a move can cause irreversible damage to a relationship.
Come time for the move, they will resent you for it.
The movers don’t want your help.
They want to see your face as little as possible.
Don’t sit there and thank them 100 times for their hard work.
Don’t supervise them as they a tight the corner with your bedroom dresser.
Don’t make jokes like, “Pretty good workout right?!”
Don’t even speak to them unless it’s absolutely necessary.
I like to use the time that the movers are hauling boxes to scrub my bathroom.
Set out some waters + a 30 rack of beer for their pleasure.
And tip them at least 20% at the end.
I know it’s expensive.
That part fucking sucks.
To just place it next to the trash can out front isn’t even legal.
Then you’re totally in the clear.
That way you’re not just throwing your garbage away on the sidewalk for someone else to deal with.
You’re offering free furniture and appliances to the community.
Some people enjoy fixing things.
DO: BE DRUNK FOR AS MUCH OF THE MOVE AS you’re able to
Moving is stressful.
Especially when you first start boxing things up.
It’s hard to know where to even begin.
If you’re of clear mind, you’ll realize how important it is to be organized.
Then you’ll start caring too much about what things go in what box and all that bullshit.
That takes up time.
But unboxing is a problem for future you.
“MotherFUCKER… we still have all that stuff in storage too don’t we???”
You won’t even remember clearing out the storage unit.
It’s all about getting things out one door, and into the next.
Beers will make you worry less, and encourage you to plow forward full speed ahead with zero inhibitions.
Unless something in the apartment is literally brand new, mark everything as “slightly worn”.
That gives you a lot of wiggle room.
But then a couple years go by and he never does.
Maybe they cracked your grandmothers antique vase?
Maybe they broke a leg on your machine desk?
If that happened, you’re entitled at least some sort of a refund.
Even if it’s just $50 bucks.
The moving company will probably just refund you the cost of your entire move.
You may even be entitled to additional compensation depending on how priceless your grandmother’s vase was.
All of the sudden you’ve profited off of your move.
But if there’s one thing you take away from this… just hire movers.
I’m clearly exaggerating a bit in this blog.
I get not hiring movers if you’re in college.
