Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the future of Barstool Sports lately.
More specifically, “Will Barstool Sports continue employing me in the future?”
Or conversely, my contract runs out, the paychecks stop, and nobody notices I’m gone.
It’s one or the other.
It will be up to people like KFC & myself to keep the New York office going strong.
“, by this time next year.
First off, we’re going to need to make some strategic new hires.
I’ve heard we’re already looking at hiring comedians.
That’s all well and good, but I’m afraid it’s going to take more than funny.
My plan is to have 1 scantily clad women for every 2 bloggers.
We can always up those numbers, but I think a 1:2 ratio is a responsible place to start.
We’ll monitor our views/clicks, and add woman as necessary.
I say we keepBarstool Pornin our back pocket.
Like a last resort, “break in case of emergency” move.
Now there’s a chance Penn National Gaming won’t like this idea.
If we don’t want to hire a fleet of porn stars, then we can get creative.
I love our team of security guards, they do a great job.
But how much are we paying them?
1 Steven Seagal could easily do the work of 6 former NYPD.
I’m sure our security team would understand.
ShoeniceBarstool has been flirting with Shoenice for years.
Like, literally anything you tell him to.
He’s a triple threat.
The New York Yak with Shoenice & Co. has a nice ring to it.
But then the more you watch them, they becomehilarious.
They never get old.
No matter how many fucking stupid dumb quirky ways he pops those damn balloons, the videosneverget old.
Tyler O’DayIdk if it’s fair to call him crazy.
I’m just disappointed I never got to work with him.
Whatever the Empire State Building is paying him, triple it.
We need an office songbird again.
Crocs Kid
If we get really desperate, I say we bring Crocs Kid back.
Everyone hated that guy.
Everyone in the office would be furious if we brought Crocs kid back.
What a day that would be.
Alright those ideas all seem sufficiently terrible.
Another episode of Dumping Them Out is in the books.
I’m off to eat lunch with some friends who are visiting the city.
I love when my friends visit, but coming on a Sunday is a lot.
I’m pretty sure they’re planning on getting drunk all day.
I can’t do that.
I don’t have it in me.
Everyone knows I don’t indulge in substances.
