Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out.
Usually I do the easiest possible thing and make a series of American related lists.
Now I’m going to have to get creative.
Actually, scratch that.
Who are we kidding guys.
In like 80% of this country you might barely survive without English.
English is so much our official language that we’ve bullied other countries across the world into learning it.
Fact 2: Alaska is the largest state in the US
This isn’t fun at all.
It’s shocking how Geography just completely misses some people.
No clue how that’s possible.
With inflation, 2 cents per acre is somewhere between $1-$2 per acre in 2024.
80 years after we made the purchase we found a whole mess of oil there.
Two years after the discovery of oil we officially named Alaska a state.
Definitely not a moon landing conspiracy guy.
But the more time goes on I get more and more suspicious of it.
The last people to walk on the moon did so in 1972.
You would think at least once, even just for shits and giggles, we’d have gone back.
Just to say we did.
Just to plant a fresh flag or something.
Or maybe just a super rich guy would fund a trip.
The moon has been untouched by humans ever since.
That seems like cheating.
You should have to send actual people there to be able to plant flag.
So that’s almost half of America right there.
Texas is the closest thing to California’s counterpart in that sense.
Florida is trash outside of Miami and maybe a few other coastal cities.
I’d like to know what the least hated cities in America are.
Alaska and Hawaii would have to make that list.
I think somewhere like Minnesota would be the 3rd least hated.
Everyone up there is friendly and talks like cartoon characters.
It’s like a nice little mini-Canada within the friendly confines of the United States.
Why would anybody need a Christmas card when everyone posts their lives all over social media.
They’re kind of annoying really.
I never have enough magnets to hold them up.
I never know how long to hold onto them either.
There more of a hassle than anything else.
Fact 7: George Washington didn’t actually have wooden teeth
Yeah right bitch.
That’s revisionist history.
Every one knows our first president had a mouthful of wood.
Fact 8: There used to be a $10,000 bill
They were last produced in 1969.
The person on the bill was Treasury Secretary Salmon P. Chase who helped to establish our national banking system.
In 2023, a $10,000 bill sold for $480,000 in auction.
You know there’s still some floating around out there that people don’t know about.
Do you live in an old house?
There could literally be a $10,000 bill in your attic right now.
Wouldn’t hurt to check.
The population is now up to 4,000.
The island is now owned by the National Institute of Allergy and Infection Diseases.
It’s illegal for humans to try and access it.
They would start families of their own, raise their children among the monkeys.
Soon enough, we’d have a real life George of the Jungle situation on our hands.
Just 43 big ol' crumbling president heads that once belonged to a park that no longer exists.
It was a terribly run park.
It opened in 2004, cost $10 million to build, and went completely belly up by 2010.
But they still have the heads.
