Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out.
Sometimes I like to treat this blog as a form of therapy for myself.
I don’t just want to dump out my random thoughts or stories into a regular blog.
That being said, in some personal news, I am officially retiring from mushrooms.
I had arguably the worst drugs experience of my life on Friday.
I went over to the Won Ton Don’s house after work with about 10ish other Barstool people.
It was essentially a picnic.
Donnie had us over for a picnic.
And what better way to enjoy a picnic with your pals than by taking some mushrooms.
On the way to his place I passed smoke shop.
I walked in and said, “Do you sell mushrooms?”
“Yes we do, right in this case over here, which mushrooms would you like?”
(it’s still hilarious to me that they just openly sell shrooms over the counter).
But I didn’t think anything of it.
I’ve taken plenty of shrooms in my life, and I usually enjoy them.
It always goes away soon enough.
Overall it’s almost always enjoyable time.
As soon as I left the smoke shop, I ate 3 squares off the 15 square chocolate bar.
I thought it was going to be a delightful Friday evening.
I was so wrong.
I can’t even put into words how dumb this chocolate bar made me.
I’ve never felt anything like it in my life.
The shrooms did nothing cool for me.
At one point we took a walk along the river, and I was attempting to converse with people.
I had become so phenomenally dumb that I literally could barely string together a sentence.
It wasn’t like I could eventually get my thought out either.
I’d say three words and just lose my train of thought entirely.
It wasn’t a bad trip in the sense that I was nervous, or anxious.
I just got very very very very dumb.
Being that incredibly stupid around that group of people was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
I don’t know if it was just a bad batch of chocolate drugs or what.
Because I’ve done them plenty of times and have never had that happen.
Whatever the reason, it was awful.
So be careful people.
Maybe the shady smoke shops across New York City aren’t as safe as they appear.
I’m officially retired from mushrooms.
Unless I decide to change my mind.
Just had to get that off my chest.
Here are some extra GIFs as an apology.
You finally got tickets for your birthday for today’s game against the New York Yankees.
You finally get to see the Sox play at Fenway Park.
I feel like I would be a little bummed out.
When you pictured this moment in your mind, the Red Sox were either wearing red or white.
You never picture them in yellow and blue.
NOTE: I’ve been informed that the jerseys have something to do with the Boston Marathon bombing.
I didn’t know that.
But I already typed out my take so I can’t take it back now.
Also I’ve learned they’re 18-4 when wearing these jerseys, so that kind of changes things.
But still, it’s always a little shocking to see.
I’m submitting this blog right before Ricky Fowler tees off Sunday at the U.S. Open.
Rory McIlroy - I just like Rory.
Xander Schauffele - Cool name.
Dustin Johnson - I should love Dustin Johnson more than I do.
He’s married to a Gretzky and loves cocaine, both things that are cool.
But idk I’ve just never been a big fan.
Nothing against him, I just never find myself cheering for him7.
Harris English - I hate the first name Harris.
He also just hit the worst opening drive I’ve ever seen.
I’m not interested in him winning8.
Wyndham Clark - No thank you.
So the winner is going to be one of the people I didn’t mention.
Congratulations to Ryutaro Nagano.
