Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out.
This episode includes the best Barstool Sports Black Friday promotion of the year.
It also includes Boob GIFs.
It’s a big moment for you.
It’s a bigger moment for your fiancee.
Personally, I know I’ll be fine.
I know how to smile and be nice in a social setting.
It’s really not that hard to make a family like you.
Just don’t be a fucking asshole and you’re good.
I was SIGNIFICANTLY more worried about the Barstool Sports Black Friday promotion.
Just an insanely dumb move by me.
But that’s ok.
I can get around it.
I just have to be a little more creative.
It’s Thanksgiving evening.
Keep in mind I’m in California, so the timing is way off.
West Coast people live 3 hours in the past.
I’m eating Thanksgiving dinner at like 8 PM EST.
I’m enjoying my rotisserie chicken, mac n' cheese, and green been casserole.
Everything is going swimmingly.
Then I receive this email from Dave Portnoy.
Very much a “you better not fuck this up” throw in of email.
And to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t prepared.
I wasn’t unprepared, but I could have prepared better.
I had a plenty of tweets ready, but I needed SOMETHING to show a little more effort.
These kids love sports.
They think Barstool is the coolest thing ever.
They would love to be in “a commercial”.
So after dinner I said, “Hello in-laws and children.
don’t you think Barstool Sports is pretty cool?
Would you like to be in commercial that thousands of people will see?”
Easy money
Thursday was complete.
But then there was Friday.
Black Friday doesn’t stop.
I left my merch at home.
So I had to work with the items I brought with me.
The item I had with me was a Yak hat.
I’d recommend the Yak hat to anybody.
Mashed the re-tweet button like an animal, and survived another day.
Then comes fucking Saturday.
I’m pretty out of ideas at this point.
Saturday wasn’t as good as Thursday or Friday, but at least I was on the board.
I had a red eye from from San Francisco to NYC.
Flew out at 10:30 PM EST Saturday, landed at 7 AM EST .
I finally got back to my bed after long weekend.
I said, “you know what John, you should get some rest.
My head head hit my pillow around 8:30 AM EST… then something terrible happened…
HOLY.
You didn’t do any promotion for The Rundown.
Not a fucking lick.
Holy fuck I’m going to get roasted fuck fuck fuck.
That didn’t even cross my mind until now.
I thought I was fucked.
I knew I was fucked.
Someone was 100% going to remind Dave that we had no Rundown promotion.
So I said, fuck it.
My back is against the wall.
I might as well come up with the best promotion yet.
Let’s get crazy with it.
Whoever spends the most money gets to be on The Rundown.
Zoom Rundown with Tommy and Clem.
They seemed like safe choices to me.
They’re classic Barstool.
So that’s the new deal.
Here’s what you oughta do.
Contest ends at 10 PM EST on Cyber Monday.
I’ll go live online as it’s coming down to the wire.
We’ll figure out a date that works for you.
Just needs to happen sometime in the early afternoon so we can get it posted by 6:30 PM EST.
Be on the Rundown.
