Surviving Barstool kicks off tonight.
It’s presented by Factor, and hosted by Jeff Lowe.
Those are pretty big words when you consider some of the stuff that’s come out of this place.
New episodes drop every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights and here’s the full schedule.
They actually did a pretty incredible job of keeping this thing tight-lipped.
Both while they were filming it a couple weeks ago, and since.
That said, I do know a few things about him.
1- He’s a very handsome man, especially for how short he is.
In pretty much every other juncture in life this would work to his advantage.
Not with Surviving Barstool and not when Dave Portnoy is involved.
Dave hates people he sees as athreatto him in the looks department.
This is the furthest thing from a beauty contest but that doesn’t matter.
Dave is going to have Will in his sights from the minute Jeff introduces everybody.
2- He planned a trip to Italy on fucking Orbitz.com.
Then got furious when they (obviously) fucked him and his family over.
A full fledged European vacation for your family in the most beautiful country on Earth?
Not sure he’s got the brains to hang with the rest of the squad here.
The famous last words of every loser in history.
Some would call this genius.
There’s a reason he’s now the spokesman for the entire Sad Boy lifestyle movement.
PFT Commenter +2000
PFT could win this entire thing if he really wanted to.
He’s a wildcard, which could be good, or could be bad for this competition.
I don’t see him coming away with this pot with so many other seasoned strategists in the mix.
There’s a lot to be said for that.
All of which would come in handy in a game of strategy like this.
But none of that matters since Dave is involved.
If not for Will’s good looks, KFC would be the first to go.
Dave can’t stand him and enjoys watching Kevin lose more than he enjoys winning himself.
I wouldn’t be shocked if he offers all the other contestants $10,000 to vote Kevin off.
Not the case, everyone knows how smart he is.
But I don’t think people realizejusthow smart he is.
Like his counterpart PFT, he thinks like he’s playing chess, always 3-4 steps ahead.
I think Big Cat is the second to last men standing.
The last thing he needs is $100,000.
But that’s not what motivates him or gets his blood flowing.
He’s a sick fuck like that.
For that reason, I can see him bowing out second or third to last.
Kirk +1000
Much like Jerry, Kirk scares me.
He’s one of those people who tiptoes the line between mad genius and crazy person.
He’s way too smart for his own good or that of anybody in his orbit.
I see an early exit.
Hank +7000
The Hammer got thrown into this mix and the sharps are calling him chum.
Don’t be shocked to see Hank sell PFT or Big Cat down the river if presented the opportunity.
Rico Bosco +10000
Rico is like the “Puck” of this group.
Cheah +10000
Steven Cheah is an enigma.
I didn’t know what to expect when finding out he was moving to Chicago.
Watching him play Yak Basketball during the Barstool Invitational, I was very impressed.
He might have been the most athleticnon-athleteon the court.
I don’t know what to think about Steven.
Tommy Smokes +1200
Tommy is one of the favorites and for good reason.
The kid lives, eats, and breathes reality game shows.
Tommy is a front-runner for good reason.
Gaz +1000
The straw that stirs the drink indeed.
This game was basically invented for Paul to shine.
Some will be shocked.
I will not be one of them.
I Can Feel It In My Plums.
I included lines from a sportsbook that was not the official Barstool Sportsbook and thus the crime.
I think I actually do owe working at Barstool all to Nate.
And that’s how he gets you.
If you think I’m joking, just wait and watch as this series unfolds.
You’ll be bound to witness it yourself.
He was also playing this game before it even began.
Nate is my dark horse to win this thing.
