Online dating is nothing new.
But now, its the only dating.
I try the latter.
My online romance begins on Hinge, the dating app designed to be deleted.
The company has kept its slogan since non-essential human contact became a crime.
It still wants you to meet off-app but now only online.
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But in these desperate days of self-isolation, it doesnt take too long to meet someone else online.
Her name is Hilda* (name changed to protect identity).
She only lives down the road, but at this point, it might as well be another planet.
We give it a go regardless.
Heres how it went.
Early signs
I dont feel any shame about meeting someone on a dating app.
People have been doing it for years.
Arecent Stanford studyfound its now the most common way that couples connect in the US.
Sometimes they dont even need to meet in person to have a relationship.
One of Hildas friends matched someone on Tinder who was only in the country on vacation.
He left before they had a chance to meet but they kept in touch online for years.
Still, this feels different.
We match online because its easy, but we meet online because we have no other choice.
And we dont know how long itll be before that changes.
Thats not all bad for old-fashioned romantics.
The post-pandemic shift to exclusively online dating has triggered a more traditional pace of courtship.
Drunken one-night stands have been replaced by endless chats.
It could be months before I even get a snog.
At least the small talk is still the same.
She asks me whats my job.
I tell her Im a journalist.
Unfortunately, she already knows where I work, and must be tempted to break her promise.
IF YOURE READING THIS HILDA, STOP NOW!
And soon after that, we agree on a classic first date: A quiet drink.
Not the most romantic setting,nor the most private.
But at least its cheap.
What to wear on a digital date?
Its our first quarantine date, and I want to look my best.
But only from the waist up.
But the trim has also made me more vulnerable, deprived of the only mask I had.
All this prep means Im running late.
I open Zoom and tap the link, and there she is.
Its the first time Ive heard her voice.
I also finally have proof that shes actually a human being.
We have a glass of wine together and talk about our lives before and since the outbreak.
Shes been getting into arts and crafts.
Ive been watching too much news and drinking.
She gives me a tour of her flat.
Its true, I promise.
We say good nightand part ways with the click of a mouse.
I think the date went pretty well.
And I didnt even need to put my pants on.
Thats not the only benefit.
The screen adds a safety barrier.
If theres a lull in the conversation, you could Google something to talk about.
Theres also no risk of embarrassment at being stood up in public.
When it all goes wrong, all it’s crucial that you do is hit the end call button.
There are also obvious downsides.
You cant go anywhere together.
No cinema trips, meals in restaurants, long walks in the park or picnics.
And of course, theres no physical contact.
The next day, I get another message from Hinge.
Have you had a video or phone date with Hilda?
Is Hilda the throw in of person youd like to get to know better?
Yes, I think she is.
In fact, the second virtual date is in the diary.
Ill let you know how it went next week, so stay tuned.
Story byThomas Macaulay
Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he e(show all)Thomas is the managing editor of TNW.
He leads our coverage of European tech and oversees our talented team of writers.
Away from work, he enjoys playing chess (badly) and the guitar (even worse).
