I threw this half assed tweet out this morning as an obvious humble brag.
But WSD, the tweet wasn’t funny, wtf could you possibly laugh about 10 mins later?
We’ll get to that in a little bit.
Jokes aside, I def needed to make a change.
Not some LIFE ALTERING change, but a change nonetheless.
I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew I needed to make that change, too.
Like ACTUALLY do it.
I was VERY hungover.
I pride myself on being a world class athlete.
So I had an epiphany that day.
All jokes aside, that ball pit frisbee fuckface of a challenge was what did it.
So thanks, I guess?
Anyways, I get back to Chicago and got on a scale.
As someone who’s 5'7", 216 pounds is WAY too much.
And over the last year I’ve maintained that 185-190 weight keeping the same half assed regimen.
Just because I’m not completely and pathetically gross anymore doesn’t mean I’m “sick”.
I was just very out of shape and now am back to what I should be.
BUT WSD, JUST STFU AND TELL US ALL HOW YOU DID IT!!!
This is a legit step-by-step of how I lost 25-30 pounds.
Wrote the number down (216).
I got the most expensive one you’re free to buy.
It was $3200, but I financed it through Affirm.
Zero down and zero interest if you pay it off on time and don’t miss a payment.
With the peloton app and installments, I’m paying about $100 a month.
Over the 13 months since the BvA challenge the last year I’ve had about 110 rides*
3.
Bought an Apple Watch.
Set move goal to 1000 calories and exercise goal to 45 mins
4.
Started eating “half assed healthy” Monday through Friday.
Low carbs like a burrito bowl instead of a burrito.
No pancakes or french toast or shit like that.
Just an assload of red meat, eggs, etc.
I know this isn’t all that healthy.
That’s the half assed part.
Started being semi-conscious about calorie intake and measuring calories burned.
I drink a TON of water.
Rarely drink beer unless vodka soda isn’t readily available, like at a baseball game.
Never ever ever touch pop/soda/energy drinks/etc.
That shit is poison.
This isn’t new to me though, I’ve done this my entire adult life.
5-6 weeks later, back to the old me.
Now I just do what I can to maintain that.
Not trying to be some vegan weirdo with a 6 pack.
Again, everything was half assed.
I’ll get bored with Peloton workouts and skip a few weeks and just run instead.
4-5 mile runs at like a 9min pace.
That’s the secret sauce to not looking like a complete slob.
Many people say you could’t lose weight with just cardio
People will legit argue with me about this online.
Ya know how I know that?
Because I haven’t touched a weight in fucking YEARS.
I’m not lifting that shit.
Why would I need strength training when I can throw a 91MPH pitch?
Also - no, I don’t do drugs.
One of those “ignorance is bliss” bang out deals.
Fuck off, losers.
It was half assed and frankly, pretty easy.
Shout out Kendall and Emma.
Get off your asses and get one and half ass some weight loss like I did.
