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Without it, I thought I wouldnt be able to deal with my professional situation anymore.
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Even if I was partying with many friends, I was feeling very isolated at the same time.
One year and a half later, exhausted, unhappy, feeling deeply unsatisfied, I burned out.
Nothing was really important anymore, especially related to my job.
I used to love programming since I was a kid but, at that point, I hated it.
I put all the fault on the industry itself.
After taking a break, I understood that I needed to do some changes in my life.
Making everybody around me responsible for my condition was too easy.
I experimented with other ways to deal with my stress, trying to come back to morehealthy habits.
It took me many years.
I failed many times but, today, Im more than happy about the results.
As always, I dont ask you to follow my advice blindly.
you oughta try them by yourself and see if it works for you.
Step by step is the best way to improve.
Social support
During periods of stress, youneedto rely on your social environment.
Unfortunately, in our field, we have tendency to hide our struggles, especially mental related ones.
We dont speak about it.
We dont want to feel weak, unworthy, and not in control.
We pretend to ourselves, and, therefore, to the others, that everything is fine.
This is a big mistake.
Why is it good toexternalizeyour problems by speaking about them, you might ask?
We all have emotions.
Dont be ashamed of them.
Ive never been afraid to be very clear on my stress-related in the past.
If I feel that the burnout is coming, I speak about it loud and clear.
We need to show that its not a taboo.
Others might follow our path and finally speak about their struggling as well.
Speaking about them is a good way to show that there is a problem.
It should not be tackled on the individual level, but on the company level.
After all, if you are in the path toburn out, others might be as well.
Whatever it is, it needs to be found, addressed, and fixed.
Seeking professional help
Our brain is a very, very complicated organ we dont fully understand.
There is no shame to admit that something doesnt work as well as we want, up there.
Our pride wont improve our stress or mental health.
Better sooner than later.
Keeping control
What can be quite stressful in our daily life?
The good answer is1.
Things we dont know are frightening and stressful.
Simply because we have no knowledge or experiences about them, and, therefore, everything can happen.
The better and the worse.
In short, stress can kick in when were not in control.
You could take more responsibilities in your daily job.
See for yourself if the stress sparked by more responsibilities doesnt outweigh the stress relieved with more control.
Again, as were all different, you should probably experiment.
Beyond lowering your stress, knowing what happens in your company can make you a better performer too.
Nothing else comes close: not jot down systems, not TDD, not formal methods, not ANYTHING.
Precisely, tiredness can increase your level of stress very quickly.
After all, tiredness is a lack of control on yourself.
I stay in a mental fog, not able to solve the simplest problem.
Easy to say, hard to do.
The best exercise I know about accepting the uncontrollable is awareness and, more precisely, meditation.
Welcome to the buzzword fest!
However, if everybody speaks about this meditation thingy, its for good reasons.
I consider it as a workout for my brain, equally beneficial as learning or solving problems.
I meditate daily for more than two years now.
I began by 5 minutes every morning.
Then, when I felt comfortable, I increased to 10 min.
At the date of this writing, I meditate 25 minutes per day.
Using a timer can help you create boundaries for your practice.
It helped me to create a strong habit.
There is no immediate goal in meditation.
You cant be good or bad at it.
The most important is just doing it.Heres a very good and simple resourceexplaining how to do so.
What are the benefits?
You could meditate a few minutes per day, doing itconsistently, to know if it can help you.
Then, after a while, you’re free to increase the duration.
I wont make you a superhero.
It might not improve anything for quite some time.
Patience, as often, is key here.
Predictability
As I was saying above, the unknown is stressful because we cant control it.
We cant anticipate it, either.
Predictable situations are, by definition, easy to anticipate.
Predictability in your job
Consistency is the best friend of predictability.
This is very good for balanced company culture.
These rules need to be written somewhere, to prevent everybody to forget them, intentionally or not.
You dont want to go to work, never knowing what your day will be made of.
Thats why you should choose wiselythe companies you work for.
Predictability in your life
Habits are keys to have a consistent life.
I wont go into habit building here, its not the subject.
In that regard, I would recommend the bookThe Willpower Instinct.
Its a pretty short and practical read on how to build willpower.
You might think: consistency is boring!
Doing the same things every day?
I will never try!
I dont have time, anyway!
Its a question of balance, balance you better find for yourself.
This will improve the predictability in your life and relieve a lot of stress.
Its not only my experience: theMighty Scienceshow the same.
What do I mean bycompulsive behaviors?
I could not eat one cookie without eating everything, whatever the quantity.
Nothing exceptional, you might think, and youre right.
Unfortunately, Im no exception.
I feel more energetic, more in control, and less stressed.
Alcohol and tobacco are not the only legalized, highly used drugs out there.
Lets speak about another classic: refined sugar.
This study shows thatrefined sugar is more rewarding than cocaine.
The bad new: Its everywhere!
No sugar craving anymore and, even better, no sugar crush.
As a consequence, you might link the causes of your stress to something else.
Why so many names?
To make people even more addicted, without them knowing about it.
Enough with the sugar.
attempt to modify them slightly and see the effects on your mood and on your stress level.
Does this habit contribute to your bad mood?
Are you angry sometimes, and why?
Is it link to something youre doing day after day?
If you want to get rid of some of your compulsive behaviors, you need a lot ofpatienceandresilience.
you gotta know itandto experience it for yourself.
Something which fulfills you, differently.
Its an escape from the 8-hours-daily-routine, its outside (and not on a screen).
In short, its different and, therefore, it brings me a feeling of freshness.
As an example, Im pretty addicted to Youtube.
When I open it, I can stay for hours and hours on it.
When I do, I feel even more mentally tired and stressed than before.
I didnt do anything which brought me anydeep reward.
I need to take action to lower my craving.
It comes back to procrastination, and this is, by itself, very stressful.
Thats why Im always trying to come back to something creative or, in general, fulfilling.
Journaling to relieve stress
Writing about our thoughts and emotions can relieve stress and improve our mood.
I would recommend writing bullet point journals.
Its a very easy way to write the essential, without losing yourself into the labyrinth of verbosity.
Its easier to read as well, afterward.
As an example:
you could write about everything which could be relevant for you.
You might be able to understand them better and accepting them more, for you to move forward.
Dont forget that we have a tendency to see the negative more than the positive.
These little things add up overtime and help the company you work for to move forward.
Writing the mental process you went through to solve a particular problem can be valuable as well.
It can be useful if you stumble later into a similar problem.
After a while, you could recognize patterns to see what works and what doesnt.
It will increase your confidence and your value.
Writing this kind of journal is even more valuable for decisions that will be impactful on the long term.
To summarize what we learned together:
Stress is a complex and personal matter.
Annihilating entirely our stress is not possible, or even wise.
However, our chronic stress is usually too high for us to ignore it.
you could read the piecehere.
