We got an XL, which is important to the story.
Now lemme tell ya, I’ve been alive for nearly 35 years.
I’ve gotten in and out of cars at an extremely successful rate over the last 35 years.
I’d venture to say I’m batting .998 or so.
Drunk, sober, on shrooms, you name it, I’ve perfected exiting a car.
But for some reason on Friday I swung and missed.
I didn’t swing and miss.
There’s no true reason my foot exploded upon hopping out of the Uber.
And for some reason when I did that, all the bones in my foot broke.
Not all of them, but as far as we know right now, 5 of them.
A commonly known term for my break is Lisfranc fracture.
Athletes sometimes get it.
Travis Etienne missed his full rookie season with it.
Chet Holmgren missed his entire rookie season with it.
Big Ben wore a walking boot for seemingly 5 years straight because of it.
Simply put- it’s the worst fucking foot injury you could get.
Basically your entire foot explodes on impact like a grenade went off inside of it.
The recovery would make you think I just got back from war.
Boy was I (and everyone on Twitter) very wrong.
This is a 9-12 month recovery and some people never fully recover even with physical therapy.
To be very honest, it’s fucking devastating dude.
My flight was booked for May 30th.
Air BNB paid for.
17 events on my schedule.
Now it’s looking like none of it will happen at all.
A lot of people don’t seem to grasp why a broken foot means I can’t play poker.
Turns out it’s very, very not good.
Sitting down at a table for 12 hours would be terrible for it.
Plus not to mention flying on a plane right now is impossible.
It’s about as unlucky as it gets.
I’ll know more after the MRI, so I guess I’ll venture to remain hopeful for now.
What’s brutal is it’s my fucking foot.
Like who the fuck breaks their foot?
Couldn’t it be something cooler?
And now I’m just out commission.
And what makes it worse is there are zero optimistic articles on the internet about the injury.
Everything I read makes me want to kms more.
I’m pretty down in the dumps you could say.
I definitely am feeling sorry for myself and all that, which I think is fair.
I hate the idea you have to “stay optimistic!”
and “positive vibes only!”
3 days after an injury.
No, fuck that.
It’s normal to be angry, to be pissed, to be upset.
Yes, it’s not cancer or anything, but I hate that way of thinking too.
When did we start gatekeeping what people are allowed to be angry about?
So yeah, that’s my life update.
If anyone that has had this injury/surgery and has advice, get at me.
I guess we’ll see.
As they say, I guess this is growing up.
PS: I’m thinking my move is to get grotesquely obese.
Eat 10,000 calories a day and never move off the couch.
Around here, we call that “job security”.
