Yesterday, Frankie and Kirk released the latest episode of Barstool Golfs.
See, I also played in Frankie’s Barstool Golfs series.
I have to putt it, right?"
Frankie: “Oh yeah.
Ball in hole.”
But then yesterday, Kirk’s round was released.
He was gunning for my score of 43.
However, one moment in particular confused me.
Frankie: “Yeah, if you want… people were kinda shitting on Sas.”
Kirk: “Why?
Was he taking them?”
Frankie: “He was scoopin' ‘em.”
Kirk: “Alright, I gotta make this?”
Frankie:“You don’t have to make it.
I’m giving it to you.”
To review,the rules for Francis:
“I have to putt it, right?”
“Oh yeah, ball in hole.”
The rules for Kirk:
“I gotta make this?”
“You don’t have to make it.”
That’s… that’s a head-scratcher.
Is this some golf wrinkle I’m not familiar with?
Does Kirk qualify for a different set of rules due to our age gap?
This is not on him whatsoever.
In fact, you might hear that the rule-abiding golfer in himWANTSto putt that out.
Unlike me, Kirk possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of the rules of golf.
He double-checks with Frankie when he tells him he can pick it up.
Then he STILL putts it and says “I’ll take it anyway.
I like to make them.”
That’s an honest competitor right there.
That’s a man of integrity, a worthy challenger.
Here I was, thinking I’d been forced to play by a separate, stricter set of rules!
Thank goodness Kirk took it upon himself to keep the playing field level.
Until the very next hole…
Huh.
Hand up, my eyes aren’t what they used to be.
But that suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure looked like the ol’ double-tap rakey rake.
Did anyone else see that?
Was that TWO TAPS with the back of the putter?
The ol' CORRECTIVE rake?
What’s more, I don’t think Frankie even gives this putt.
“Alright, that’s fine.
Alright, we’re not going to sugarcoat it.”
I think he’s trying to buoy his spirits here, not say “that’s good.”
Not that Frankie CAN OR SHOULD BE GIVING PUTTS ANYWAY IN THIS FORMAT.
This moment:
Where his mind says “that might not be a gimme.
My jaw hit the floor.
This is not the Kirk I know and love!
Oh captain my captain, whence did thy dogmatic adherence to rule and order fly?!
I never in my life thought I would see the back-handed two-foot double-rake tap-tap from KIRK MINIHANE.
My world is caving in!
It sure looks that way!
But again, I know nothing, John Snow.
Nine holes (or 18?
Dare we?!)
I may die shortly thereafter.
But by God, I’ll do it following whatever goddamn rules are set down for BOTH of us.
With honor, integrity, and justice for all.
Even when it’s just an inch.
I asked our editors what happened there and nobody seems to remember as we shot it 4 months ago.
If it turns out that I picked that ball up without finishing it, or putted it and missed?
To completion and beyond.
