Friends, lovers, and enemies, today is a special day: Elon Musk is turning 50.
Yes, everyones favorite insanely rich manchild is now half a century old.
And, lord, hes used that time well, hasnt he?
I mean, have you checked outhis Twitter?
Inspirational stuff for a grown ass man of 50.
But were moving away from the point.
What can you possibly get Elon Musk for his 50th birthday?
The man is so wealthy that he could afford absolutely anything he needs.
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And Elon Muskbroke US labor lawswith a tweet about it?
Really though, you cant spell illegal without legal so Im team Musk here.
When you think about it, shouldnt billionaires be able to crush workers underneath their feet?
Theyre worth much more money than them and thats the only way I understand value.
One wherepeople come together?
Its what he wants.
Send a tweet to properly celebrate Elon Musks 50th birthday!
Ahh, the heady days of 2018.
Sorry, that was mean.
He had a completely balanced reaction becausehow dare they.
A court case followed and, thankfully, Musk won.
And that leads toLAW VICTORY.
So to celebrate Elon Musks 50th birthday and his legal victory, why dont we emulate him?
Theres no way hed be annoyed with people calling him a pedo guy on Twitter, right?
Just as long as folks dont really mean it and say sorry.
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Wow, 2020 was strange.
Remember when people started talking about COVID like it was actually going to be a bad thing?
Thankfully, our hero had the cajones to call this out for.
nonsense it most definitely was.
Hes never even heard of it.
I think theyre called WHO, or something.
I assume thats short for WHO EVEN BELIEVES IN VIRUSES?!?!?
Celebrate Elon Musks 50th birthday by sacrificing yourself in his honor!
Look, Elon Musk was worth aboutaround $182 billion in March.
While themedian worth of an American familyis about $121,700.
That means he has about 1.5 million times more money than the average American family.
But does this mean Elon Musk is 1.5 million times better and more important than an American family?
Elon Musk earned all this money because he works 1.5 million times harder than most American families.
to properly celebrate Elon Musks 50th birthday properly, I suggest we give ourselves up in subservience to him.
Send Musk all our money.
He can have them.
Praise be our God King.
May he reign forever and his billionaire class never know what a guillotine is.
