Or, maybe everyone will think Im an asshole, which isnt any different from my day to day.
Feels like a win-win.
But, primarily, I wanted to confirm the boys liked me.
Then, and only then, did I feel legitimized.
Never once did I question why that was - dudes rock!
Guys know whats good!
I let myself think that I succeeded a lot of the time.
I wanted to win.
And, I did!
Im writing for this website, Im filming commercials, Ive been given a handful of podcasts and opportunities.
I needed, and received, that stamp of approval.
The problem now, or what it seems to be, is that I feel comfortable.
Comfortable enough to have…stopped caring what the boys think.
I listened to all the guy podcasts.
I learned all the bro jokes.
After feeling like Ive conquered men and all their secrets, things changed.
It became too easy.
Guys are very, very easy to manipulate.
Nobody wants to hear that, but its true!
You do what we say and you dont even realize it!
What they dont tell you on this journey of discovering men, is that sometimes you accidentally get lost.
It stops being easy to get the girls to like you.
That is a BAD place to be.
Its just what we do.
Why is it bad to be neutral?
I think this is situational.
Kind of like a, see something, say something basis.
Some people may see something that others do not, and point it out to those who dont.
If they still dont, that should be fine.
But I have personally reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable taking the brunt of it.
Not every girl should feel like they have that responsibility, and thats totally fine.
But, sigh, what about the boys?
I know we want to, but we cant ignore them either.
We cant dismiss EVERYTHING they say, or read into every single statement, because wed go insane.
They aren’t all bad guys.
It cant be understood by those who dont understand, and thats that.
Now, were both in a pickle.
The girls want to prop up the girls!
The boys dont want to be forgotten about, and they still want their voices heard!
The boys, maybe…want to be for the girls?
But how can they be, if theyre for the boys?
Around and around we go.
Id be lying if I didnt say my passions were influenced by the internet and the reactions I see.
Im worried that we all just tell ourselves, thats the vocal minority!
People in the real world arent as online as you!
Now, what couldve happened to me?
I love to laugh at myself, and women as a whole.
I love to laugh at men!
I dont laugh when it isnt funny, or its boring and ignorant.
If youre going to make jokes, be creative about it.
People like how blunt and honest I am.
At least, the people who matter to me, tell me that all the time.
This applies to everyone.
Its not that we dont get the joke, its that we dont think its funny.
Which sounds an awful lot like a few movie opinions flying around in the streets.
I understand how that feels.
Now were back at square one.
Are the boys pissed?
So pissed, that they wont like me anymore?
They dont want to have open conversations with me that might get a little uncomfortable for them?
Did it feel too serious?
Whats wrong with being serious?
Whats wrong with being TAKEN seriously?
….Do I care what they think anymore?
And here I am now, wondering, where do I direct my feelings?
That doesnt seem fair either.
As long as I can remember, I wanted to work at Barstool.
Like I said before, I won.
But, why did I want to be a part of this so badly?
Surely it wasnt ONLY to be considered cool with the guys.
There has to be reason bigger than myself that keeps me here and motivated.
The audience is good, the people are good…I want it to be better.
I want everyone here, listening, reading, watching, to be fucking awesome.
I want to share every thought I have, every thing Ive learned, with everyone.
I even got mad at the Mean Girls, GIRLS!
for sending what I felt was the wrong message, and the boys had my back then.
All I know, is I want to make a difference, in my own way.
I also want to be angry with men, but Im even getting tired of that.
I think empathy is what were looking for, but that looks different to everyone, too.
If all you might give me is some half ass acknowledgment of a feminist message?
If you want to join in on the fun and get girly and silly with us?
