Don’t get me wrong.
I do not care for Jackson Mahomes.
I dislike the guy as much any other red-blooded American.
His content is unsettling, and his TikTok videos feel like personal attacks.
You could make a sound argument that he deserves to be locked away in a maximum security prison.
The kid moves the needle.
Conservatively speaking, 100% of the clicks amassed by these blogs were hate clicks.
But it doesn’t matter.
Hate clicks pay the bills the same as horny clicks.
Do you think Jerry Thornton & Big T want to write blogs about a smooth boy who dances?
I promise you they don’t, but you’ve left them no choice.
Take a look in the mirror.
Jackson Mahomes is the consequence of our actions.
He’s your fault.
He’s my fault.
He’s god’s fault.
He’s everyone’s fault.
Like it or not, Jackson Mahomes content is what the world wants.
Somewhere deep down, there’s a part in all of us that longs to see his next video.
Think back to when a young Jackson first took the internetby stormhostage.
He was awkward, gangly, and chubby all at the same time.
Simply put, he was a big dumb nerd.
His dance skills were well-below average.
The internet loathed him, but we couldn’t look away.
We were consumed by his off-putting gyrations.
We encouraged his behavior with clicks, and watched as his popularity skyrocketed.
You couldn’t log into social media without being force-fed a spoonful of the newest most dancing boy.
We piled on even harder, but not in a sexual way.
We thought we could hate him off the internet.
Hating him was the easy thing to do.
It’s fun to hate a common enemy.
But what we failed to realize was that the hate would only make him stronger.
Jackson continued dancing at us.
I know some of you might not be ready to admit it, but the kid has done it.
He’s fucking done it.
He knew what he wanted out of life.
To be a hot dancing internet boy.
And by god is he.
Jackson had the vision and he saw it through to the end.
With each passing day he becomes stronger.
His movements become less awkward.
HIs face becomes less like a chipmunk.
And there’s nothing we can do but watch.
Do you think this is what I wanted to do today when I walked into work?
Write nearly 800 words on Patrick Mahomes sexy younger brother?
You default to something that will get clicks.
Jackson Mahomes is that something.
So a hearty tip of the cap goes out from me to Jackson Mahomes.
