I’ve recently joined a kickball league.
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting myself into.
All I knew is that it was co-ed, and our league was the “recreational division”.
There are 4 divisions, and recreational is supposed to be the 3rd most competitive.
I was very much under the impression that it was a laid back thing.
I mean, even in the competitive leagues, people can’t take kickball THAT seriously can they?
In hindsight I should have expected this.
I don’t know why I ever thought those people wouldn’t exist in kickball.
I’ve been observing them for the last 4 weeks.
I’m fascinated by these people.
“Here we have a Kickball Hardo in his natural habitat” - That sort of thing.
like read this blog in National Geographic voice.
A kickball hardo wakes up on the day of a game already thinking about his upcoming match.
He most likely dreamed about it.
The hardo packs a gym bag that contains a pair of brand pair of $250 soccer cleats.
He might even wear them on his walk to work to help break them in.
Like the world’s saddest peacocking.
It’s almost like she’s drunk."
Yes, of course Jamie is drunk.
We’re all drunk.
Because we’re playing kickball.
But between the lines is where a Kickball Hardo really earns his stripes.
These girls are the bane of a Kickball Hardo’s existence.
They don’t know what a force out is.
They don’t know when to advance a base, or what it means to tag up.
Boy were they wrong.
It falls on the shoulders of the Kickball Hardo to whip these girls into shape.
The team hardo must make it clear to them from the jump that laissez-faire attitudes will not be accepted.
There’s a handful of ways the hardo goes about doing this.
It’s a physical impossibility.
Weak arms + heavy ball = not gonna happen.
Another classic hardo move is to initiate the baserunner ahead of them off the base.
It is his teammates fault for not being fast enough.
But my favorite Kickball Hardo move happens when he’s simply had enough of his teammates incompetence.
Either way, it’s a job well done by the hardo.
You have to separate the wheat from the chaff.
I love these people.
I’m not interested in interacting with them.
But I love that they exist.
Not that I don’t mean what I said.
I think you’re a very strange breed of person.
But the world needs people like you.
It’s all part of the Rec League Kickball experience.
