Because it really is astonishing in a way.
The rarest thing in this life is perfection, in any form.
Everything created by humankind is flawed in some way.
And even the worst things we make are mitigated to some extent.
In the last eight days, the Patriots have failed on that level.
Yesterday’s loss was like him walking his men into a trap between The Coliseum and the bath house.
And a two-week stretch where you’ve lost by a combined 72-3 can’t even be called a catastrophe.
This was an Extinction Level Event.
One that no one survives.
Where everyone has to accept their share of the blame.
(But I suggest backing up your files first; your box WILL crash.)
But it was subtlely brilliant enough that it was saved to my mental hard drive.
It’s time to get into the why.
–Let’s begin where I’ve been beginning everything since the beginning of camp: The offensive line.
That adjective has never been more on the nose in a lifetime spent watching this team.
Two months ago they were still looking for answers with this group.
Well now we’re peak Leaf Peeping Season, and it’s only gotten worse.
So put on the flannel and go live that Pumpkin Spice Life.
They’ve been virtually indistinguishable from one another.
Imperial Stormtroopers who can’t hit a target.
An Orc army losing every battle.
Security guards on theEnterprise.Pawns getting knocked off the board by every piece they go up against.
For example, Riley Reiff had to sub in at both guard spots.
And even though Lowe probably committed a false start, he was essentially a bystander.
–But again, in this debacle, no one will be spared.
This was out of a two tight end set.
But one that was cemented into the ground.
And now it’s become unsolvable, because it’s too late to do anything about it.
And even then, the NFL will start testing for them.
–Here is the line’s performance in percentages:
–I’m not excusing Mac Jones, either.
It’s a major factor in his failures, to be sure.
But he’s not someNPCin this game who gets a pass because he’s the victim of circumstances.
He’s an active participant and a major contributor to the collaborative effort that is this monstrosity.
–We can cut Jones slack for not having a clean pocket to operate from all we want.
–And by no means am I letting Bill O’Brien off the hook.
Right now I want to put together a montage of 2022 highlights played over the theme toHappy Days.
(“Sunday, Monday, happy days,” fits surprisingly well.)
We’re seeing none of it.
We’ve gone 33 consecutive drives without a touchdown.
Which seems impossible to do, even if that was your goal.
Once in a while you’d expect to get in the end zone just by sheer happenstance.
Sure, I was not supportive.
Or the"Unicorns!
Where’s the beef?"
Yeah, those were terrible looks for us all.
And the boos were more than justified.
Not to mention how this said it better than words ever could:
Bless you, my people.
Yesterday, with two rookies on each team, the only kicking being done was our rookie’s asses.
Ryland’s miss was from 48 yards and made him 4-of-8 on the season.
He was a 4th round pick.
Meanwhile Blake Grupe drilled both of his, from 54 and 53.
In the same cross breeze, which he no doubt learned to master at Notre Dame.
Though to be fair to him, he’s probably exhausted from punting at the end of every drive.
At least the ones that don’t end with turnovers.
And the return game has caught whatever cooties the kicking game has been spreading.
Jabrill Peppers called for a fair catch at his own 5.
Like what did he think might happen if he just yelled “PETER!”
and ran everyone away from it?
It might take a bad bounce and the Saints could down it at the 4?
Or, God forbid, the 3?
But in that part of the field, the fair catch is just surrendering.
It felt like they had one good quarter in them.
At that point, they seemed to come out demoralized.
–From there, they just got physically outmatched.
Which seems to be happening a lot to this team.
Which happens when things are going this badly.
it’s possible for you to only ask so much of your men.
–This Week’s Applicable Movie Quote: “Hey, don’t put yourself down.
You’re not, uh… you’re not… you’re not good.
- Ty Webb,Caddyshack
–If I’m looking for a positive note, it’s this.
At least I didn’t invest any actual money:
–Bailey Zappe is not the answer.
But since I don’t have one to offer, then fine.
Bring him on for all I care.
I’m too broken to fight you on it.
