Never judge a book by it’s cover.
Judge it by thenameon the cover.
I mean, what else are you going to do, read it?
That’s gonna be the vibe of this comprehensive 2023 NFL draft name analysis.
Look, we all know instant draft grades are the most pointless, stupidest things in the world.
That’s what we’re doing here.
This should be fun.
Let’s get to it.
Grade: Double F
For decades people named Tanner understood they were not meant to play in the NFL.
Those days are no more.
Yet somehow here we are four years later and another QB named Tanner entered the draft.
Not Tanner Lee, but Tanner McKee.
Very suspicious if you ask me.
Let’s check out the mugs.
You’ll fail again.
Double F.
Dorian Thompson-Robinson.
Grade: All Time #1 in QB Characters in Last Name
I like this kid a lot.
I’ve never seen him play.
I don’t know what school he went to.
Most characters in a last name ever for a drafted quarterback.
This matters because extra embroidering on the jersey gives a little more weight and sturdiness on your throws.
This is a biomechanical fact.
Here’s the all time QB last name character count list.
Big Ben’s last name was holding the record down for almost 20 years.
Now we know why he added a few letters to make “Mckee”.
Also, Duggan was the 14th and final quarterback selected of the 2023 draft.
Malik, Amani, and now Hendon.
All three were selected in the top-four rounds, so don’t you dare call any of them cheap.
That leaves us with one Hooker unaccounted for.
As a 5th rounder, he was neither cheap nor overvalued.
This is a complete catastrophe.
Really, the only way this could be worse is if his first name was Tanner.
Also, imagine the pressure this guy is always under when signing the check at dinner.
Grade: Wrong Position
Flowers is a defensive back name and everyone knows it.
If not that, definitely something on defense.
Unless the Ravens make the switch with this kid, this isn’t going to work out.
I’ll show you what I mean.
Let’s take a quick peak at everyone named “Flowers” drafted since 1969.
Still think this kid has a chance at receiver?
Well let’s look at the final name on this list: Richmond.
While he played DB in the NFL, he was a wide receiver in college.
If the Ravens know ball, they’ll study history and follow suit.
Many people say this is too old.
But certainly there’s quarterbacks drafted at age 25 or older who had successful careers.
But get a look at how many poor saps we have this year in the red highlights.
This destroys the 1947 record of two drafted QBs aged 25+.
Maybe one of these guys is the next Schwenk or Weinke but it doesn’t look good.
That’s all I got.
But enough of what I think.
What do you think?
What names struck you the right/wrong way and why?
Also, will Tanner Lee/McKee finally get his first NFL snap?
What should the moneyline of that be anyway?
I kinda want in.
