I’d say I have a solid grasp of 60% of what’s going on.
“Jesus fucking Christ if you want to know what’s happening then pay attention.”
- Her
“Bitch, no.”
15 guys and 15 girls sit on opposites sides of a wall and take turns talking to each other.
AFTER the couples are already engaged, they meet each other for the first time.
The showsaysthat they’re tying to prove that “love is truly blind.”
Spoiler alert: it’s not.Most of them don’t make it.
In the end, it’s not blind whatsoever.
But my biggest beef with the show is the way they cast it.
The producers are pussies.
They’re cowardly with their choices.
Everybody they choose for the show are roughly the same levels of attractiveness.
They’re all between a 6 and an 8 (for the most part).
There’s sometimes an outlier or two.
That girl is 100x hotter than who he ended up choosing.
But in general, nobody ever matches with someone who is THAT much out of their league.
Here is this year’s cast if you’d like to take a look for yourself.
Clearly some people are more attractive than others.
But there’s nothing too egregious.
They’re all in the a similar boat.
That’s where I need the producers to grow some balls.
Let them fall in love behind a wall.
If they let me choose the contestants, the show would really pop off.
Consider this my utility to cast the next season of Love Is Blind.
If I were casting the show, here are the types of people I would go with.
Regulars (4 Men, 4 Women)
You gotta have a control group.
We can’t have every contestant be some sort of crazy anomaly.
But aside from that we’re going to get crazy.
One of each gender.
The most ideal partner.
Find two of the most perfect people it’s possible for you to and cast them on the show.
Very Ugly & Very Confident
You have to pull the rug out from somebody somewhere.
Make them the cream of the crop personality wise.
Make them 10/10’s when there’s a wall between them.
Then watch the fireworks after the engagement when their physical appearance is revealed.
Ugly & Extremely Rich
I imagine that these people would have slightly below average personalities.
But their net worth is around $10 million.
If their counterpart can manage to get married without signing a prenup, then more power to them.
Super Hot & Severely in Debt
How much do they care about looks?
Let’s find out.
Just imagine you blindly form a relationship with some woman named Tia.
Amputees
We’re going to put someone in a terribly awkward situation with this one.
But this is reality TV baby.
There are no rules here.
Don’t sign up for Love Is Blind if you don’t truly believe in the concept.
They’re just wildly addicted to drugs, and they are EXPERTS at keeping that shit hidden.
Just think about the scene where the junkie gets caught.
It would be so sad, and so compelling.
Felons
We need some people with a disturbing, ideally violent past.
I’m talking people who have done some super fucked up things in their lives.
I’m not going to speculate on what exactly their crimes would be.
you’re free to use your own imagination for that.
Those are the types of people we need for the new Love Is Blind.
Outwardly Racist People
You gotta have some super racist people in there.
Trans People
I don’t mean this in offensive way at all.
It would just be outstanding content.
People With Terminal Illnesses
This is a fun one.
But I think that can be part of it.
I fully understand how fucked up this is, but once again, we’re making reality TV here.
There are no feelings in reality TV.
I’m sure Love is Blind is doing just fine as it is.
There’s a reason they’re on their 6th season.
But I’d love to see them crank it up a notch.
If they won’t do it, then I might have to myself.
Maybe I can convince Dave to fund “Love Is Blind: Viva Edition”.
I want to get crazy with it.
That might turn into the greatest reality TV show of all time.
