That’s an insane 90 seconds.
Not here, however.
I feel like I can write a biography on every person in this video.
To set the scene, this took place on W. 6th street in downtown Cleveland.
Each and every summer some top notch fight videos come from this exact area.
So without further ado, let’s power rank the the main characters in this Scorsese-esque masterpiece.
The Driver
For starters, she damn near killed at least two people.
But on top of that, how did she not get away?
She has a car and those other chicks are in cocktail dresses and bare feet.
Worst getaway driver ever.
The Police
I know a bunch of cops who are sick of their bullshit assignment when I see them.
The look on this dude’s face says it all…
4.
Girl In The Blue
This chick might be a super hero.
Of everyone in this video her story arc is easily the most insane.
This is every girl’s go-to move in a fight.
It’s like pulling the hockey jersey over your opponent’s head before you jump in throwing upper cuts.
It’s just a savvy veteran play.
Then the car screeches off down the street.
The girl in the white is shed almost instantly but the girl in the blue is gone.
Legs dangling off the side of the whip in what could have easily been a very ugly scene.
Forget those cops, this chick is the one who should be fighting crime.
We need a bat signal for her.
You know, the watch she lost WHILE DIVING INTO A SPEEDING VEHICLE AND ASSAULTING SOMEONE.
This chick would be an easy #1 if she wasn’t in fact assaulting someone.
The girl in the purple is moving so fast she’s a freaking blur in the video.
The Raiders are always willing to risk a draft pick on raw speed.
Here’s the question I have.
Do girls not know their ass or tits are hanging out while they fight?
So does she not care or does she not know.
And then later she will watch back the video and be like, “damnit not again!”
Aren’t your cheeks feeling a little breezy there, sweetheart?
But kudos to her for wearing the matching thong.
I’m going to assume it’s this fella realtalkrome.
Rome is committed to getting the entire scene and not satisfied with just the initial action.
That’s someone going above and beyond.
And when he reaches the second location he finds the best possible spot to shoot.
A side angle where all parties are visible.
His camera blocking is perfection.
He captured the punches, he captured the car chase scene, and he captured the thong.
Give my man the Oscar for Best Director NOW.
The Young Man In The White Polo
And people say that chivalry and romance is dead.
That this generation doesn’t know how to treat a lady and make her feel special.
This dude proved all those haters wrong in one 90 second video.
His chick got dragged down a thoroughfare by her braids and this dude immediately sprung into action.
When he finally catches up with the car he doesn’t pull his girl out immediately.
Not because he doesn’t care but because he’s already thinking two steps ahead.
He reaches into the car and slams that shit into park.
I bet he even pulled the parking break.
Because otherwise that girl would have probably just put it in drive again and taken off again.
That was a sign of his love and commitment.
And you might call him old fashioned but that mean something to him.
This is a man we can all aspire to be.
Calm, collected, and a god damn gentlemen.
