The news is out: Peter Thiel is stepping down fromMetas board of directors.
Pals, we should pray for Zuck.
Who now can guide Big Zuck on his path into darkness?
What individual can whisper sweet nothings into his ear?
Tell him that people, really, are nothing but numbers, bodies to be possessed?
It’s free, every week, in your inbox.
Luckily for him, we have some ideas.
Nurse Ratched
If theres one thing we know about Peter Thiel, its hes hungry for control.
Yes, she may abuse her power.
Yes, she may effectively torture people.
Yes, she lobotomizes a sane man to fulfil a personal vendetta but you cant say she isnt efficient.
Zuckerberg could learn a lot from her.
And I bet shed have some great ideas about how tokeep people on Facebook.
Thanos
Peter Thiel is a well known disliker of democracy.
Interestingly, Thanoss plan wasnt dissimilar.
In his mind, the universe was overcrowded.
Individuals and political systems werent set up in a way that could be easily changed.
But if he could get rid of half of sentient life?That could work.
To put it another way, all Thanos and Thiel want to do is save people from themselves.
I mean, who could know whats better for ordinary people than the hyper-wealthy?
True, Zuckerberg might balk at half the population disappearing imagine the impact on Facebooks advertising model!
but at least itd help improve its ad targeting.
Oh, did I write Wormtongue?
TheTrump-supporting,Republican-funding, despiser of democracy, Peter Thiel.
Put Wormtongue on Metas board and you wont be missing a thing.
Just verify you keep anyone wearing white cloaks a long way away from Zuckerberg.
Lets just hope that whoever he chooses continues the fine legacy Peter Thiel started.
I wouldnt change a single thing Facebook has done over the past 18 years.
Not a single thing.
