Chicago really is a special place for St. Patricks day.
And for providing a ton of these updates.
If you haven’t already,check them out, andfollow them on twitter.
9:03 a.m. A Chicago police big shot orders cops to start clearing spectators off the downtown bridges.
Ultimate game of whack-a-mole.
Get two drunk Napervillians down off the bridge rail and 4 more hop up.
9:44 a.m. Communication snafu.
If this isnt theperfectmicrocosm for the state of Chicago and the CTA in 2023 I dont know what is.
Theyre gonna start dyeing the river in four minutes.
10:01 a.m. Cop: Pedestrians are bypassing the barricades to get onto the Michigan Avenue bridge.
They are ignoring me completely … No one is listening to anything at this point.
A Chicago police bike team is sent over to help.
Shoulda listened to Batman and raised the bridges.
10:03 a.m. Cop: We have a lot of people on the State Street bridge.
10:26 a.m. Cop: Can we get help clearing the Columbus bridge?
We got 300 or 400 people on it, refusing to leave.
11:00 a.m.- I will never understand these people.
Then screamed at by police.
Then released and had to spend the day shivering his ass off soaking wet.
11:32 a.m. Congratulations to the guy at Michigan and Adams.
Youre the first arrest of the day!
11:35 a.m. Congratulations to the unconscious woman at Michigan and Jackson.
Youre the first EMS run of the day!
Can definitely tell covid rust is still a thing.
A few years ago this time stamp was around breakfast time.
In the 7-9am window.
Well get back there.
Dont count us out.
The parade is starting!
12:31 p.m A man has broken through the barricades at Columbus and Jackson.
Hes on the parade route, throwing up gang signs.
Because everyone is drunk over here.
This crew got started last night and kept it rolling.
Meanwhile, in Lakeview, Walgreens is calling about a man wearing an Irish hat and green jacket.
He keeps stealing wine, drinks it outside, then comes back in to steal more wine.
Wine from a pharmacy is a desperate move to begin with.
Someone just threw milk jugs at the police.
Somebody woke up this morning and decided they wanted to catch and ass whooping it seems.
Lets see how this plays out.
1:57 p.m. Oh, gosh.
Walgreens is calling again.
The guy is completely drunk now.
Hes behind the counter, stealing booze, and arguing with the manager.
Still wearing the green jacket and green hat.
Suddenly its not cool to take what you want from Walgreens and not pay?
I thought this was America?
The pub crawl organizers private ambulance scoops him up.
Im not sure who organized this pub crawl, Im guessing its the T-box people?
Thats called being responsible and pro active.
Better get your own patty wagon/ambulance to round up the weak.
The police helicopter calls out a police foot chase as it makes its way down the parade route.
Arrest #2 is eventually executed at Jackson and Columbus.
I have so many questions about this one.
They need to dry out.
Something tells me theyre leaving Barstool River North bar and heading to Snickers
2:38 p.m. You like your vino on your porch, or deck, or even at the dinner table.
Decanted, maybe chilled to a nice 57 degrees if its a French white.
The cops just arrested the Walgreens guy!
Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
Thats what they say in places not named Chicago.
4:02 p.m. Dispatcher to cop: Are you assigned to a location?Cop: No.
Were on foot, going around the Loop, slapping drinkers and urinators.Dispatcher: That sounds fun.
Get your shit together with bathrooms.
Then maybe people wont have to find alleys and piss behind cars.
Speaking of cars, figure out the parking situation while youre at it.
Ten male Whites wearing green clothing are fighting.
These guys either got into it at Sheffields or Vaughns.
But somethings telling me Vaughns.
And it spilled outside because they have very smart and very capable bouncers.
6:01 p.m. EMS call on Sheffield.Dispatcher: Male down on the ground.
Hes wearing, guess what color?Multiple voices: Green.
7:09 p.m. EMS call, 303 East Wacker.
This guy has shit friends.
Also, shit doorman.
Either way, shit way to end the day.
I wonder whats happening in Wrigleyville.
Lets go to Snapchat:
7:53 p.m. Criminal damage to property in progress at Oz Park.
Five intoxicated males are mounting the Tin Man.
Perhaps they got my memo and were attempting to do the job Lori refuses to?
9:32 p.m. Wrigleyville: Someone got slugged at Sluggers.
Suspect description: Hispanic man wearing a green hoodie and a green pub crawl t-shirt.
They probably found this guy in no time.
Not like thats a needle in a haystack description or anything.
If you dine and ditch youre a scumbag of the highest order.
Hope this guys teeth all fell out of his head.
Really tough look for your friend here.
12:10 a.m. Well-being check in Wrigleyville A man keeps running up to people, screaming that hes on meth.
it’s possible for you to guess what hes wearing.
Just another example of how the Ricketts turned Wrigleyville into Disneyland.
Suspicious person in Wrigleyville.
Caller says a man keeps ringing their bell, saying he lives on the fourth floor.
Its a three-story building.
Classic case of mistaken address.
Has happened to us all.
Including theTyson Chicken heir.
Now its getting real.
3:33 a.m.-
Tony LaRussa is still in town?
