I’ve never been a big video game person.
I was always awful at Call Of Duty and GTA and any shooting games I played with my friends.
I always lost and it made me resentful towards all video games.
Well, all video games except one.
Specifically the franchise mode option where you create a player and then play out his career.
It’s given me some of my finest memories in life.
And the formula is always the same.
Here’s how the story works in my head and some highlights.
-I make myself a 6 foot, 190 pound 24 year old out of Fordham.
Keep my actual height but add about 30 pounds to make it realistic.
And I’m 24 because the story goes that I didn’t play my freshman or sophomore years.
-I always go undrafted to get the lowest player scores and make my path the hardest.
In the past I’ve done Detroit, Cleveland, and the Jets for example.
I can stomach them winning especially if I’m the QB.
And I didn’t want to do the Giants because I felt bad taking Daniel Jones' job.
(This was last year.
I wouldn’t feel quite as bad now).
I usually start the season slow but find myself as the season goes on.
I track all my stats from each game and tally up the hypothetical fantasy points I’d get.
Here’s an example of my season last year as QB of the Jets.
I get huge endorsement deals.
Some TV and movie cameos.
Date hot celebrity after hot celebrity.
I do a pizza review with Dave, and go on PMT and KFC Radio.
Probably hit Hot Ones too.
Present an award at the Oscars.
Head on Impractical Jokers for an episode.
Guest spot on Lil Dicky’s show Dave.
Minor role in a comedy movie with James Franco and Paul Rudd.
Just really soak up the celebrity limelight.
And obviously the haters will start to say “He parties too much.
He wants to be a celebrity more than he wants to be a quarterback.”
Blah, blah, blah.
But to the haters all I say is this.
“Check the spreadsheets.
I just keep winning.”
I’ve always wanted to stick with one career for its entirety but have never got to that point.
Now granted this is probably more than the average person puts into Madden, but I highly recommend it.
Watch the full Bracket episode here.
