The label has stuck.
YouTube celebrities have traveled here to document whether Ottawa is as drab as advertised.
Municipal leaders want to turn that image around.
Ottawa is looking to hire someone to preside over the citys nightlife.
I’ve always wanted to be czar.
I once took a sales job for a start-up energy company while I was living in Los Angeles.
I was their first sales person so they told me I could make my title whatever I’d like.
I said I wanted to be Sales Czar.
They said, “How about we just call you an Account Executive instead.”
Which was pretty disappointing.
But the company went out of business in about 2 weeks so who gives a shit.
I’m glad Ottawa has finally decided to get themselves a Nightlife Czar.
Apparently the place is a snooze fest.
Others have called it, “A good place to take a long nap.”
But Ottawa has set out to change all that.
Thankfully, the government has stepped in.
Rob Ford was a blast.
And if you think about it Justin Trudeau is probably… ya know what, never mind.
Rob Ford was fun)
Anyways, Ottawa is hiring a Nightlife Czar.
I’m gainfully employed by Barstool at the moment, but that could end anytime.
I’m just one joke away from being fired at any moment.
So if you want to make Ottawa a cool, happening place, here are some places to start.
But in a one off situation it seems kinda cool.
It’s not even that hard.
Every weekend I’m stunned by how horrible the game selection is at bars across the city.
If we figured out A.I.
I feel like we can figure out this.
Idea #4: Hidden Entrances
People love feeling like where they’re going is a secret.
Then at any point you could just hop back over to the restaurant for some food.
Build some working trains that run directly to nightlife hot spots.
You just need a few of them that run between the bars and popular residential areas.
Even if it’s only once or twice a night.
That would be fun.
I’ve played so many pull tabs in my life and have never once cashed.
But I keep doing them.
Ottawa should heavily feature Pull Tabs in their nightlife scene.
This was the last time I played.
Won $0 but it was very fun.
Idea #8: Gambling/Casino
Maybe just turn the whole place into Vegas.
Sportsbooks, black jack, poker, craps, those horse racing machines, etc.
you could just bet a couple dollars at a time.
It’s a great way to have fun and stretch your money.
Idea #9: Hot Girls
Should have listed this way earlier.
have a go at hire this girl.
She can stand next to the robot bartender.
Idea #10: Drugs
Drugs get the people going.
So I guess these ideas weren’t that creative.
I more or less just invented Las Vegas with robots.
But people are simple.
It’s really not that difficult to like people.
Just use some common sense, include the basic things people want, and they’ll start showing up.
But if Ottawa is serious about this, these ideas won’t hurt (except maybe the cigarettes one)
