I guess Ill just masturbate again?
Its a museum for funerals.
Its got a 4.8 google rating, a strict no gun policy, and a tremendous gift shop.
I was giddy at the thought.
I bet they had realistic coffins you could even test out!
At 10 I knocked on Kevins door to say I was leaving.
Let me put some pants on, Ill come with you.
We piled in the car and we were off to the most magical place on earth.
I know what youre thinking.
Sheesh, thats gotta be a weird vibe walking into a funeral museum.
The Big One, as they call it.
Were you in a good mood before the dead body museum?
Because wed like to put a stop to that right away.
Heres a reminder IN CASE YOU FORGOT.
What do you think the triple wide coffin is for?
A big fat person?
Three family members who were all in the same horse and buggy accident?
Good guesses, but not quite.
The Triple Wide is for a family who tragically lost their child too young.
Youd probably have questions, the coffin maker did not.
He got right to work.
We played it out in our heads and the whole thing is actually pretty grisly.
Oh by the way, this took place in the 1930s.
The police were a telephone call away and my man was opting to varnish up a Triple Wide instead.
There are all kinds of different exhibits at the funeral museum.
We didnt spend too much time in those areas.
People were starting to talk, ya know.
While we were in the Papal Funeral section we also learned about the Papal Gentleman.
Hes basically the Popes Butler.
Does everything for the pope.
If she wasnt surely dead at her own hand by now Id feel bad.
The funeral museum is also a spot for children, or at least one couple thought so.
Being in Texas I couldnt help but raise an eyebrow at that phrase.
When you say Gallant Cause, what exactly do you mean, Houston?
Next up we hit the Celebrity Death exhibition and that was just amazing.
Paul Walker is prominently, and properly, remembered right in the middle.
For starters, Im not sure Id put MLK in the Celebrity section.
He was more of a political figure if you ask me, what with the assassination and all.
Well, it was a little smaller than the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile’s.
It actually shared a shelf.
Paul ONeill the American composer and lyricist).
MLK sharing a shelf with the second most famous Paul ONeill is arguably more racist than murdering him was.
After that it was time to head out.
Fun fact about Abe Lincoln: his funeral was 20 days long.
It must help with the healing process.
Anyway go check out the funeral museum.
