This one came to me when I rented an AirBnB on a lake in Connecticut.
The landlady stopped by to see how we were doing and answer any questions we might have.
Or possible just to double-check we weren’t destroying the place.
Which genuinely impressed all of us who were staying there, because we’re fans.
There were two things I haven’t forgotten about that.
And two, how the woman could not quit mentioning how short he is.
For reals, she brought it up in every other sentence until we ushered her out the door.
A medical miracle that defied explanation somehow.
Not all height, mind you.
you’re free to’t mock someone for being tall.
And you might’t make fun of someone the size of Peter Dinklage.
That’s a hate crime.
And there’s no commenting on any woman’s stature, tall or short.
That’s body shaming and sexist.
Yet when it comes to men in a specific range, do your worst.
They’re still fair game.
The celebrity gossip internet is lousy withactor height charts.
Well it sounds like the tables are finally being turned on that last bastion of discrimination as well.
Thanks to this Op-Ed in the New York Times.
Our success as individuals does not depend on beating up other people or animals.
…
Because short is better, and it is the future.
…
On average, short people live longer and have fewer incidences of cancer.
One theory suggests this is the case because with fewer cells there is less likelihood that one goes wrong.
Id take that over dunking a basketball any day.
When you mate with shorter people, youre potentially saving the planet by shrinking the needs of subsequent generations.
So take that, all you heightist bastards!
Worse, you’re ensuring the extinction of your bloodline.
Less food because they don’t eat as much.
And as a result, need a fraction of the toilet paper.
Granted, they might need a ladder for the kitchen with all the talls extinct.
But less need to store canned goods in the top cabinets.
So that’s a win.
Even if it means I’d be one of the giants among them.
Since it’s still OK to mock shorter gentlemen, I’ll make the point with a true story.
Two buddies of about 5-foot-4 were having a long and loud debate at the bar about … something.
It didn’t matter to us then and doesn’t now.
So they turned to another friend who’s over six feet and said, “You’ve been listening.
Who do you think is right?”
And his answer was an all time classic.
“I was just thinking,” he said.
“I’ve never heard two tall guys arguing like this.”
And they each lost their minds like a couple of South Pole elves.
