We start this week with a poem.
This is for all the new sad NFL fans joining us this week.
Send these, the winless, Dolphin-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside your shit-filled door!
“The Same Old Sad Collossus” - Jeffro
Welcome ashore.
If it’s freedom from sadness you seek - you’ve come a long way for nothing.
Here are your NFL sad stats for Week 3.
Except if he’s sweating profusely from the Miami sun.
Is Garrett being dramatic?
I almost thought so at first but the man was so despondent it warranted a little research.
All he has done is lose since being drafted in the first round by the Broncos in 2017.
Happy…. 100 games???
But’s it’s not the sad stat.
Plenty of players play on shit teams for years.
And it’s definitely tough to have a losing record in all seven years of your career.
But usually players expect this when they get drafted on a shit team.
Let’s rev this up a bit.
You might already know the record for most points given up in the NFL is 73.
72 is next and after Sunday, we have two teams now who gave up 70.
Below are the worst 21 teams in points given up in the first three weeks in NFL history.
Why did I include 21 teams?
Just really felt like including that last team in there I guess.
Lot more green in the Hackett rows!
Big win for Nathaniel Hackett!
This man just needed out of Denver to spread his wings and fly.
Broncos fans really needed a hero to tag them out this week and the Jets never seem to disappoint.
Imagine being owned 15-games in a row by a division rival like the Jets.
Also pretty crazy the Jets have never beat the Eagles.
At least Broncos fans can say they beat the Raiders in Oakland.
Feel better yet Mile High?
Only he and LeFleur are on the right curve of the Dunning Kruger graph to make that call.
But I found another instance this happened when the Lions were down 7 in the same situation.
Week 16 of 2021 vs the Falcons.
Kinda the same idea.
Spoiler alert - it didn’t work out.
But at least McVay didn’t torch his team’s chances of winning.
McDaniels literally just threw 12 percent down the drain.
Hope he won his fantasy game though.
I did notice that Joey Slye nailed his from 51-yards - which is five points in fantasy.
I think we figured out what coach Josh McDaniels was playing this week.
It’s officially “fun bad” season in Chicago.
We are beyond pathetic.
No word yet if Aaron Rodgers plans to press charges if the thieves are caught.
At this point we might be approaching Jonathan Quinn/Craig Krenzel era bad.
The Broncos/Bears game is about to set the NFL back 71 years to 1952.
And - oh look - the Bears are on this list three times, what a shocker.
I fucking hate this franchise, what a fucking joke.
Not that I care.
Again their only win in franchise history was to a team that had just lost 60-0.
That might be the saddest stat I’ve ever found.
Kinda makes you feel better, huh Jets fans?
- Jeffro
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