I hear you say.
Its so hot that the Carolina Reaper chilli pepper thinks this weather is a bit much.
It is so hot, my friend, that the entire world isa 1995 Robert De Niro movie.
But dont worry your handsome skull, lovely.
It’s free, every week, in your inbox.
To lowkey cool down, get yourselfan old fashioned ice tray.
And, before you know it youll be swallowing ice cubes like an arctic python.
That not your hype?
You feeling like some kinda fancy lord from back in the day?
Like some kinda Englishman, huh?
In a big old castle?
Surrounded by butlers bending their knees and referring to you as a mlord, or mlady?
That how you feel?
you should probably get yourself AN ICE MAKING MACHINE.
Its the only thing that makes sense.
Do people expectyouhave to make yourownice?
This one from hOmeLabswill have ice ready to melt between your baking red cheeks within six minutes.
Hell, itll give you 11.8kg of the stuff in 24 hours.
If you want something fancier, how about theOpal Nugget Ice Maker?
I heard* that Snoop Dogg has one of these nugget makers.
Remember Tom Hanks stellar performance in the movieCastaway?
Completely fuelled by nuggets of ice.
The signing of the Declaration Of Independence?
(*DISCLAIMER: all this is a lie)
So, youve now got a lot of ice.
You need a bucket.
A cooling bucket.A Coleman 28-Quart cooler with a bail handle.
Hold the cubes in your hands.
Cradle them behind your knees.
Stick them between each of your toes.
A wetsuit swimming with frozen water shapes scream trash to you?
Cant say I agree, but each to their own.
Well, how about we get more conventional and talk about cool air.
Specifically, how to get it.
1)WAVE SOME PAPER AT YOUR FACE.
Or maybe a book.
How about this book I found called Great Maps: The Worlds Masterpieces Explored and Explained?
Fine, how about you get yourself an old-school, paper fan, then?
Actually, why stop at one?
Get yourselfa sweet 48 pack of white fans for the low, low price of $26.59.
Its like the old saying goes: the only thing better than one fan are 48 of them.
3)Listen, I know.I get it.
This is why you better make use of the 2nd best* invention ever: ELECTRICITY.
(*The best invention of all time is the British chain of pubs known as Wetherspoons).
But, what fan to choose?
For that, you could grabthis VersionTECH gadget.
Thenthe Honeywell HT-900 TurboForce(TURBOOOOFOOOORCE) is the answer to your deep, blade-related desires.
Hold on though you want some oscillation with your fan too?
Grab yourselfthe Lil Blizzard then.
Theres one step further or higher, I guess we can go with the fan game though.
Its called… the tower fan.
4)Sometimes though, you need a bit more than a fan.
They just blow the air around.
Like…the Pioneer wall-mounted air conditioner, say?
Not only that, this filthy little box is DUCTLESS.
In other news, dont ask me what that actually means, I just thought it sounded cool.
Thats too big, you say.
Im not going to be able to install that in my flat.
Firstly, I believe you could.
it’s possible for you to do anything.
But, if you dont want to try and install it, check outthe Frigidaire air conditioner.
Not only does its name sound refreshing, but it probably works too.
This heat is no ones friend.
It is too much.
It is a beast that needs defeating.
Stay tuned for our next gadget guide about how much the cold weather sucks.
Keep an eye out for our new gear and gadget section.
Its launching soon and you are going to like it.
We like some products.
We dont like others.
