(This wasone of the first blogs I did for Barstool.
Then Ireposted it last year.
The commenters added some no-brainer additions so we’re updating it again.
We love you and appreciate you.)
It’s all about perspective.
Hopefully, this list helps you to keep things in it.
Welcome to Weymoth, MA Mrs. Jung.
Poor Mr. Jung doesn’t get the credit he deserves.
Imagine being married to this bitch?
Imagine your wife sending your son to jail without you knowing?
On a moral righteousness power trip?
While chainsmoking Pal Mal’s in the house you bought and paid for?
What did he do in a past life to be sentenced to that?
Pour a stiff one of the good stuff Fred.
Best Line -“You think people don’t know you’re a drug dealer.
Everyone knows, its no secret.
Every time I go out I’m humiliated.
So you go to jail.
It’s for your own good.
it’s crucial that you straighten your life out.
What are you looking at Mrs. Gracie, your son’s no prize.”
She shot two FBI agents dead when they came knocking at her and her son’s hideout.
All while she was raising two promising sons (Francis and Jake) to follow in her footsteps.
Things were on the up and up.
She also severely underestimated a rag-tag group of misfit adolescents that stumbled upon her seasonal restaurant hideout.
Things all went downhill from there.
“Mama’s been bad”
Best Line -“Kids suck.”
She let him get away with murder and oozed sex appeal.
You have to look at this from the child’s (Stiffler) perspective.
Your life is over.
You could never live that one down.
Especially if she looked like this -
Best Line -
Stifler’s Mom : I got some scotch.
Finch : Single malt?
Stifler’s Mom : Aged eighteen years.
The way I like it.
Best Line -“What are you doin' with your life.
THAT’S SO GREAT, RABBIT?”
Kate McAllister (Mom from Home Alone series)
Just a totally incompetent mother all the way around.
So if you could’t top it, steal from them and go out strong".
And nobody has directed what a failure of a mother Kate McAllister was better thanKFC,Chaps, andClem.
Best Line -“Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.”
Shit Mom Varsity Squad
I get in this debate what seems to be once a year.
Who was the bigger POS mom AND person?
Jenny from Forrest Gump?
Or Ginger from Casino?
A strong case can be made for each of them and I often find myself flip-flopping.
(If we were talking TV, Livia Soprano might take the cake in a unanimous decision.
What a complete and utter bitch.
Walking talking storm cloud.)
If you’re not down with Uno then it’s your loss.
Let’s go to the tale of the tape.
Yes, Jenny had a horrific childhood.
She preyed upon an autistic man for his entire life.
And she throws it everywhere.
Except that this time she drops in with somebig newsfor Forrest.
He has a kid she’s hid from him for 6 or 7 years.
(And apparently I’m not alone).
And oh yah, she had AIDS and was dying.
So nice to see you!
Just a total shit person.
From beginning to end.
Forrest and his son (alleged) both deserved better than Jenny Curran.
When she yelled “Run Forrest Run” he should have listened.
Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest?
Forrest Gump: But you won’t marry me?
Jenny Curran: You don’t wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don’t you love me, Jenny?
Forrest Gump: I’m not a smart man.
But I know what love is.
Peak Sharon Stone was not to be trifled with.
Not only did she look great inCasinobut she absolutely crushed the role of psychotic, hell-bent, devil-woman.
When she is caught she causes a melee throwing chips around the casino floor and laughing.
Major red flag #1.
Yet Rothstein becomes hooked.
Instead she turns around and gives them to her pimp, golf-hustling boyfriend Lester Diamond.
(played by James Woods but I don’t really think he was acting much in this role.
The heart wants what it can’t have Ace.
By keeping Ginger from Lester you just pushed her closer to him.
Their marriage starts off hot.
They have a daughter they name Amy.
The guy just COULD NOT QUIT her.
(A Lester Diamond concocted scheme).
What transpires is one of the greatest marriage collapses and meltdowns of all time.
Sam has to begin fearing for his life.
His daughter’s well being, her being kidnapped, you name it.
All because Ginger is wretched.
She rats him out to the cops, takes all his money,
and heads to LA.
Where she blows through all the money and overdoses on a mob ordered hit.
Just a terrible mom, wife, woman, and human being.
A debate for the ages.
I’ll leave you with another pearl from wordsmith Tupac Amaru Shakur.
Loyal as a mother fucker.
(“It’s not TV, it’s HBO”).
So we’ll allow it.
Just a wretched wretched piece of shit.
Once Wee-Bey goes to jail, De’Londa pushes her son, Namond, into the game.
Literally encourages him to become a drug dealing gang banger.
Like it’s a position of honor, bravery, and loyalty.
All so that she can brag about owning her house, buy nice clothes and drive a nice car.
Nancy Botwin -Weeds
Truth be told, I never watched this show.
Upon first glance, this lady seems like kind of a minx no?
And I know she was a drug dealer/grower right?
So she’s got the bad girl thing going for her as well.
(Did I dislikeSoprano’s?
I just didn’t think it was the greatest thing in the world like Glenny.
(I thinkThe Wirewas better) Last 2 seasons kind of ruined it for me.)
I would use the c-word but it’s Mother’s Day.
Was there anybody who enjoyed or loved Livia Soprano?
God bless Tony’s father for ever being attracted to somebody so fucking miserable.
Janice and Tony it could be argued are the worst son-daughter one-two combo in the history of kids.
Janice is a piece of shit, good for absolutely nothing, whore.
The most needy, insecure, back stabbing bitch in the world if not for her mother.
Tony, though loveable at times, was a serial killing mob boss.
For crying out loud, Livia hired her brother in law to kill him!
And this wasn’t some old age, sad widow shit either, she sucked since day 1.
@jmue
I would like to add Wendy Byrde from Ozarks.
But where to start with this one?
Drags her kids into it.
Teaches them the tools of the trade.
Has her own brother killed.
Pretends to look for him.
Abandons and then writes off her son.
Thinks he should go to jail and do time to learn a lesson.
@njgiant81
Dont forget about Crisps mom from kindergarten cop.
Supporting her son while he lit an elementary school library on fire.
That family was pure evil.
This one made me laugh out loud.
Gemma Teller -Sons of Anarchy
Giphy Images.
Well, if Gemma isn’t just the epitome of motherhood, I don’t know who is?
In fact, her interference in every little incident is just admirable.
Who needs peace and stability when you have Gemma around to stir up trouble at every turn?
Gemma’s unpredictable behavior and refusal to change make her insanely frustrating to watch.
But hey, that’s just what makes her so lovable, right?
But don’t worry, she’s not all bad.
Truly, Gemma is a gem of a character.
Helene really has it all figured out, doesn’t she?
Who needs basic safety when you’re free to have a little extra cash from illicit activities?
All in all, Helene is just a shining example of how to live your best life.
That it’s almost 20 years later and people arestillconflicted and debate the ending.
To quote Detective Bressant: “Fucking A!
You gotta take a side.
You molest a child, you beat a child, you’re not on my side.
Aside from the incredible acting in the film, the writing is off the charts.
He told me what God said to His children.
“You are sheep among wolves.
Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves.")
A great movie, centered on a crisis of morality that really makes you think.
And Amy Ryan plays an unreal scumbag.
Did we leave any more out?
If so drop them below.
Always remember, you could have had a mom like one of these.
Happy Mother’s Day!
