I came across a Snapple fact printed on a pack of vitamins this morning.
Before you flame my ass for being a lib, they’re not my vitamins.
They’re the vitamins of a woman who is under the impression that they’re not a scam.
Obviously, we know that vitamins go right through you.
You just pee them out.
Deranged body builder Steve Michalik (dead, shot himself) said that.
Or at least Stu Feiner said that Steve Michalik said that.
Stu Feiner kind of just says shit.
After about 10 seconds of research I came acrossthis articleon Steve Michalik’s training methods.
It sounds like he took a pharmacy’s worth of vitamins every day.
These are taken each day."
Maybe Steve eventually saw the light and kicked the habit.
The jury is still out on vitamins.
Plus a quick Google search confirms it to be true.
I have a hard time believing that an average of 700 places per state are worthy of museum status.
The percentage of them that are profitable has to be insanely low.
Is that where my tax dollars are going?
I bet a bunch of museums are just passion projects.
I imagine that’s the case for a lot of the weird ones.
Take’The World’s Only Mothman Museum’for example.
Then you have places like the Moist Towelette Museum in East Lansing, Michigan.
The Moist Towelette Museum is located inside of the Michigan State University Planetarium.
The man who “runs” the “museum” just happens to work there.
That’s the museum.
I doubt he even got permission.
I assume he just did it one day and nobody at the planetarium bothered to stop him.
If this guy was able to gain official museum status, we clearly need stricter guidelines.
There’s tons of other bizarre museum across the country.
and ‘How Many SPAM Cans Tall Are You?’.
I’m sure she’s slammed with plenty of serious inquiries.No need to SPAM her.
Unless they’re not making an honest living.
Come to think of it, museums sound like the perfect money laundering front.
You don’t really have inventory that you have to account for.
you’ve got the option to just claim an uptick in visitors.
I would imagine that you could claim donations.
People love donating to museums.
You’re telling me this guy didn’t have a little side hustle going?
Gatlinburg, Tennessee is the capital of stupid fucking museums (i.e.
Titanic Museum, Salt & Pepper Shaker Museum, others).
It’s the capital of stupid fucking things in general.
The whole city is kind of like a museum.
I really shouldn’t disparage Gatlinburg.
It’s actually a pretty awesome place.
I can appreciate somewhere with an identity, and Gatlinburg’s identity is ‘Tourist Attraction’.
It’s the ideal place for a midwestern family with young-ish children to take a vacation.
It’s the perfect place for any child that hasn’t quite hit puberty yet.
But unfortunately, most museums don’t feature an excess of bizarrely niche collectables.
If so, museums wouldn’t have such a bad rap.
Most museums are WAY more boring than that.
Consider the Dialysis Museum in Seattle, Washington.
Look how boring this picture is.
I would rather be hooked up to a dialysis machine than spend a day at this museum.
“(things of that nature).
Wikipedia has a list of every museum in every state.Here is Ohio’s list.
A good amount of Ohio’s museums fall under the category of “Historical Houses”.
Take a look at the size of this bitch.
Or maybe that’s just me.
Some people love history, and I shouldn’t shame them for that.
Plus, schools need to take bad field trips somewhere.
Some might enjoy spending a day at the Glendower Mansion operated by the Warren Country Historical Society.
Or the John Smart House.
Or the Kennedy Stone House.
Or the Samuel Spitler House Community Museum.
Or the Dayton International Peace Museum.
Or Joshua Reed Gidding’s Law Office (picture below, yes that’s really a museum).
You get the point.
I’m not even sure what the point of this blog was.
I just saw a fact on a pack of vitamins and went down a museum rabbit hole.
I think my original point was that America needs to redefine what constitutes a museum.
But I guess if you don’t call them museums then what are they?
As long as it has things to look at I guess it has to count.
I wonder how long it would take somebody to visit every museum in the country.
Is that even possible?
Maybe Barstool will pay for me to try it.
I could make a run at the crown for worst Barstool content ever produced.
