“secretly triple checking that my fly wasn’t down.
Praying it wasn’t something worse.
Some of these, to quote Rod Blagojevich, “are fuckin golden”.
See, guys and girls all lie.
It’s part of the reason the divorce rate is like 69% in this country.
The difference is men are just morons.
And when they lie, that idiocy shines through, bright and strong.
Women on the other hand are fucking sinister.
Theyre basically reptiles when you really think about it.
It’s why women make such better spies than men.
If lying was an Olympic sport, they’d all be gold medalists.
Cant be putting that on the woman who brought you into the world.
Did you ever consider that?
I have so many questions here I dont even know where to begin.
Guys math clearly stipulates you always multiply by 3.
Everybody knows the rules.
This ones on the roommate.
As a VERY last resort you pretend youre a foreigner and dont speak English.
Cant just go down with no fight.
Im no therapist but I think this man has a problem.
Unless you’ve ever been in a coma I don’t think you should be allowed to judge.
Just saying…
Cro again?
The amount of dedication this had to have taken is actually impressive.
Gotta pass the time somehow.
(Sidebar - I actually had an ex do this with Raya while we were together.
Called her out and she said she was on there to internet)
This one escalated quickly.
How the fuck do you not mention what movie???
We NEED to know.
Was it Catch Me If you’ve got the option to?
How do you just leave that out.
Somewhere Joey Grieco smiles…
How many private eyes do women keep employed in this country?
Ever been paintballing lady?
Part of the joys of having a dog are being able to pin a lot of things on them.
“Damn dog has the worst gas ever!
Must have ate something!”
All basic level shit like that is in play.
They’re our best friends after all.
I’m talking about stuff like devouring condoms.
That’s just flat out disgusting and depraved behavior that no dog would lower themselves to.
Poor form by this guy here.
Just casually napping with your sister bro?
Only guys will double down on a lie by making it far far worse than the crime.
Honestly would not put this past a female.
This one made me laugh out loud.
Reminds me of THE MOST UNDERRATED/UNDERAPPRECIATED Adam Sandler movie ever- Thats My Boy.
Hey, it happens.
Now were just openly shaming American heroes who put themselves in harms way to protect our freedom?
Im not crazy, youre crazy.
Genius tier thinking here.
Actually know a psychotic bitch who did this to a guy I know.
Think this lady is projecting here.
This is a female move.
Imagine pitching your mom on this idea?
Funerals and births are basically the same thing when you really think about it.
I think Plato said that.
Ever heard of it?
(As the frat guys suddenly get very quiet)
Lame.
Glove dont fit you must acquit.
Guarantee this girl has never even heard ofthe 21 foot rule.
Does this qualify as “stolen valor”?
This ones laugh out loud funny Im sorry.
This guy put in more workpretendingto have a job than if he just went out and got one.
This sounds like something Nicky Smokes would pull.
I got nothing for this one.
Sounds like sound medical advice.
This lady is lucky to be alive.
Straight out of the Costanza playbook.
And I saved my personal favorite two for last…
A++ for effort here.
All this just proves once again that the lengths guys will go to for pussy is umatched.
Its seriously incredible women dont rule the universe and have us all enslaved.
