The Tamagotchi is the ultimate 90s toy and, at the time, it felt revolutionary.
Here was a pocket-sized gadget that contained an entire life form.
And, you know what?Its back.
As about twenty years have passed between now and then, it seemed wrong to do a normal review.
In that time Ive grown, so I wanted to do something deeper, something more important.
What could keeping a virtual creature alive teach me about existence?
To find out, we made a video about it.
But what if you dont want to watch moving pictures?
Dont worry, dear reader theres an article below too.
It seemed hard to believe a pet could exists in tiny machine.
It just kinda seems a bit… shitty.
This led me to reconsider what other childhood memories were, in reality, actually awful.
Was football in the park a desolate affair?
Were all those old video games I loved secretly appalling?
How much of TV I thought was seminal is a dumpster fire?
The Tamagotchi has opened this door and it wont close again.
Well, the Tamagotchi kinda offers you that choice.
Unfortunately, this isnt very much fun.
At least, thats what happened with the Tamagotchi.
(Spoiler: it died a lot.)
Cleaning up poop is never glamorous
You know what?
Dealing with another creatures defecation feels pretty degrading.
To all the dog owners and parents out there, I now truly understand your plight.
The human condition requires conflict
Its the difficult things in life that have the most value.
Its fighting for something that makes it worthwhile.
Unfortunately though, this is not how the Tamagotchi functions.
Its so underwhelming that it forced me into the aforementioned realization that the best things in life require work.
Happiness is a constant battle.
Thanks for teaching me how to sound like Joe Rogan, Tamagotchi.
Cake is the path to happiness
Need to cheer your Tamagotchi up?
You give that sucker some cake.
Its an elegant concept.
This got me thinking, is there anyone who doesnt actually like cake?
Yeah, some people might pretend they dont, but they do, really, dont they?
I mean, its delicious.
People are suckers
Look, the Tamagotchi isnt very good.
Yeah, its a fun bit of nostalgia, but it really doesnt live up to my memories.
But you know what?
Plus, loads of people commented on it, which made me feel like the belle of the ball.
This taught me probably the most important lesson of all: people are absolute suckers.
Worst of all?I liked it.
Ugh, Im the worst.
And if you dont?
Well, at least youve gained from what it taught me.
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