I’m sure they’re fine people with a great relationship.
They most certainly did not do anything I’m about to say that they did.
Unless you’re John or Terry.
Then like read this and realize this is not serious.
Also, Tim Weston is not a real pedophile.
First and foremost, my sincerest apologies go out to the comment section.
I’m disgusted that I’m committing the mortal sin of re-blogging a story.
This @JohnRichTV guy is having a laugh.
He didn’t actually read anything about the unheard of Kan Jam duo of John and Terry."
But those people are wrong.
I do know about John Lyng and Terry Malloy.
I read an entire expose about them in the Wall Street Journal.
I don’t know what grounds the Malloy’s sued on.
All I know is that after they sued, WSJ took down their article.
Now you’re able to’t find a trace of the story on the internet anywhere.
Nothing about their relationship, nothing about the lawsuit, nothing about anything other than their Kan Jam victories.
Google their names all you want.
It’s like the story never existed.
But luckily, my brain is a steel trap.
I remember everything I read.
John Lyng and Terry Malloy started Kan Jamming together back in 2012.
The two barely knew each other when they first teamed up.
They were separately enrolled in a Kan Jam tournament in Fresno.
Despite their situations, Terry and John showed up anyways to try and talk their way in.
Terry attempted to convince the tournament director to let him play solo.
But the director wasn’t having it.
He walked up and said, “Terry, hi!
It’s me your partner!
I was able to make it after all!”
He assumed the identity of Tim Weston.
The director bought the lie, and the partnership was born.
The two of them wiped the floor with the competition.
None of the matches were close.
They made it all the way through a 64-team tournament to the championship match.
“Hey, this Tim Weston guy is a pedophile!”
The other competitors booed and hissed and threw their frisbees at him in disgust.
Police officers ushered children off the premises.
Then John had a choice to make.
But admitting he was not pedophile Tim Weston would disqualify them from the tournament.
It was the hardest decision of John’s life, but in the end he decided to come clean.
The crowd got even madder.
The only thing Kan Jammers hates more than a pedophile is a liar.
John and Terry were chased out of the arena by an angry mob.
It turned into a scandal that rocked the Kan Jam world.
The next day, the President of Kan Jam announced the harshest punishment in Kan Jam history.
A three-year suspension from all official Kan Jam activities for both John and Terry.
During their suspension, John’s sick partner dumped him.
He vowed to never speak to “John the Liar” again.
But they weren’t deterred.
The two of them knew they had to team up.
What happened that fateful day on the kans was nothing short of magical.
It would be an insult to Kan Jam if they didn’t team up.
John divorced his wife and moved to a studio apartment in Sacramento where he could be closer to Terry.
They did nothing but practice for the next 3 years.
By the time their suspension was up, they would be an unstoppable force of Kan Jam fury.
They learned to play drunk.
They learned to play high.
They bought an industrial sized wind machine to practice competing in the elements.
They ate all of their meals off frisbees.
Life outside of Kan Jam seized to exist.
They went hard for 2 years.
Over time, Terry slowly started to develop pain in his right elbow.
The pain gradually got worse.
While long tossing one morning, it became unbearable.
Terry had to got to the doctor.
It was a torn UCL.
He required emergency Tommy John’s surgery.
It was a devastating blow.
Terry loved his right arm.
They couldn’t understand why it would betray them in the most important year of their life.
There was only one thing for Terry to do.
Learn how to throw left handed.
They started training even harder.
Terry quit his job to make time for rehab + intense lefty immersion therapy.
It was rough at first.
Terry had never used his left hand for anything.
Not even as a fun new way to masturbate.
John was getting frustrated.
He was a strong believer in negative motivation.
He would berate Terry mercilessly to his face, and shame his left arm to anyone who would listen.
He created multiple burner accounts to bludgeon him with insults online.
In the end, it worked.
Terry’s began to develop a passable left.
A month before their suspension was up, he was fully locked in.
The lefty training turned out to be great for John as well.
He was diving left and right, bending over backwards to save Terry’s errant shots.
Thanks to Terry’s months of inaccurate tosses, there was nothing John couldn’t direct into the kan.
Better yet, weeks before their triumphant return, Terry’s right arm started to come back around.
He was an incredible rehabber.
The best rehabber his physical therapist had ever seen.
Now Terry was ambidextrous.
Ambidexterity is a massive advantage Kan Jam.
It allowed Terry to throw shots from any angle.
The possibilities were endless.
That final year of their suspension took them to a level nobody thought was possible.
The first tournament was a cakewalk on the kans, but the crowd was ruthless.
The people hadn’t forgotten that they were big lying cheaters just 3 years ago.
They protested inside and outside of the competition.
They wrote really mean things in car paint on their vehicles.
But in the end it didn’t matter.
A few days later, John and Terry went to Moo’s Creamery for dinner to discuss strategy.
Strangely enough, Bakersfield Mayor, Harvey Hall was there as well.
The two tried to introduce themselves, but Mayor Harvey wouldn’t even shake their hand.
He’d heard about the two of them.
John was very much not prepared for how much the whole pedophile thing would stick.
It seemed wildly unfair.
The reason they got in trouble was because he was explicitly NOT Tim Weston.
He didn’t even fucking know who Tim Weston was.
Never seen the guy in his life.
If anybody should be getting shit for it it’s Terry.
Terry was friends with the guy.
It was such bullshit.
While John & Terry were finishing up their meals, they heard a commotion from across the creamery.
The mayor was choking on his ice cream.
But John remained calm and acted fast.
He hustled across the room and assumed the intimate Heimlich maneuver position.
John had saved the mayor’s life.
Moo’s Creamery erupted in applause.
The mayor gave John a big hug and apologized for being a dick.
Moo’s Creamery gave him another free week of ice cream.
Quickly, word of what John had done spread across the Kan Jam community.
He went from the most vilified man in the history of the game, to an American hero.
John did the whole press junket.
It was instant fame.
He had a blurb written about him in the Bakersfield Times.
He did a 5 minute radio hit with Bob & Tom.
He threw out the first pitch at a high school baseball game.
He did a steak signing at the hometown butchery.
John’s life had changed forever.
However, Terry grew resentful of John’s fame.
Everywhere they went, people only wanted to talk to “John the hero”.
He headlined all of their interviews.
He signed all the frisbees.
He nailed all the chicks.
Terry felt as if he wasn’t getting the credit he deserved.
He was the one who heroically fought through the adversity of injury.
Terry was the one with the uncanny ability to throw with both arms.
Terry went to the hometown butcher shop more than John ever did.
And John was basically a pedophile.
Why did he get to be the famous one?
Despite all of that, the two of them kept winning.
They rattled off an unheard of 17 straight tournament wins.
Nothing could defeat the dynamic duo.
They were an unstoppable train barreling down the Kan Jam tracks.
No one was safe.
Until the Great Phoenix Throw-Off of 2016.
John & Terry checked into the Red Roof Inn the night before.
John was a different story.
John had become an animal.
The fame had gone to his head.
Everyone wanted to hang out with John, and John loved the attention.
There was even going to be a girl there.
John could never turn down such an invitation.
As Terry was balls deep into Hamilton, John went to the party.
It was a legendary night.
John even got a hand job in the closet (from the chick).
That’s just the jot down of guy he was.
He didn’t fall asleep on the couch until 3 hours before their first match.
John woke up at 7:30.
They played at 8:00.
He showed up in shambles.
He was obviously still fucked up from the night before.
What had John become?
Was Kan Jam no longer the most important thing in the world to him?
It wasn’t fathomable that John & Terry could lose to them.
The disparity between the two teams was Mike Tyson & Buster Douglas on steroids.
But John was a disaster.
His mind was elsewhere.
He could barely see the frisbee.
He threw like woman.
Terry was serving up discs on a silver platter, and John simply couldn’t jam them.
Terry did his best to carry the team, but in the end it wasn’t enough.
John & Terry lost on a walk-off double banger.
They were eliminated in the first round.
A hushed silence fell across Phoenix.
On what planet could John & Terry lose to a couple of fledgling greenhorns?
He couldn’t even look John in his dilated blood-shot eyes.
They had a whole meet-n-greet scheduled at BJ’s Brewhouse after the tournament.
They didn’t have the heart to show up.
John & Terry cancelled their next few tournaments.
They needed a break.
They’d been pedal to the medal ever since they met, and they needed rest.
Terry took a trip to the Maldives to clear his head.
John went home to his divorced wife and pathetically begged for her back.
She laughed in his face and slammed the door on him.
Then he moved into hand job girl’s apartment.
But after a few weeks, the two of them got the itch to jam kans again.
They went back to Moo’s Creamery in Bakersfield to talk things out.
They thought it would be good for them to revisit the location of the best day of their lives.
Surprisingly enough, they were able to work things out.
You could cut the tension with a knife, but they agreed to put aside their differences.
They signed up for the Moab Summer Series that next weekend and vowed to get back on track.
But the night before the series, everything changed.
The two of them split an AirBnb in Moab the night before.
Tim Weston had been released from prison, and he was in Moab.
Tim Weston was free.
They were stunned by the news.
They didn’t know what to do.
The situation got even more tense.
“Wow, that’s crazy”, John said.
“Yeah, for sure” Terry replied.
As they sat in silence, not knowing what to say, they heard a knock on the door.
They opened the door to see Tim Weston himself.
For some reason, Terry’s mother had told him where they were staying.
Tim claimed he was innocent.
John laughed in his face.
“Do you really think Terry would ever take you back?
After all we’ve been through?
It’s over for you Tim.
Find a new age appropriate partner and get on with your life.”
But Terry felt differently.
Terry grew up with Tim.
He wholeheartedly believed Tim’s story.
Tim had never lied to him before.
Why would he lie about not being a pedophile?
Plus, he was sick of John’s diva attitude.
The Terry & John dynasty was over.
Or so they thought.
The next morning, Terry and Tim showed up to the tournament together.
The tournament director said, “Are you fucking serious?
No, you might’t do that.
This dude was literally on Dateline NBC last week.
I watched the episode.
He bought candy and wine.
We’re not letting him play in our tournament.
Is he even allowed to be here?
How could you possibly think we’d allow that?”
Terry quickly realized the mistake he had made.
They kicked Tim off the premises and proceeded with the tournament.
What had he done?
He stood there alone as his competitors lined up to play.
He was going to have to forfeit.
The place fell silent.
It was none other than John Lyng.
John walked straight to the cans.
“Are we doing this shit?”
He says to Terry.
“Let’s do this shit.”
Those would be the last words the two ever spoke to each other.
They proceeded to steamroll through the Moab Summer Series.
But they never spoke again.
The Tim Weston incident was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
But they were simply too good to break up.
It would be doing a disservice to Kan Jam if they stopped playing together.
They meant to much to the future of the sport.
To this day, John and Terry continue to compete, winning tournament after tournament.
John continues to do his local radio hits, and make frequent appearances at farmers markets.
But he never speaks of Terry.
He refuses to address the status of their relationship.
