Fair warning: This is an opinion piece.
I was one of the background people arguing on Twitter over the weekend.
Last Friday I had the distinct privilege of engaging with a legend in the computer science world.
Saying Im a fan of their work is a massive understatement.
You know what they say: Never meet your heroes.
It’s free, every week, in your inbox.
Theres an annual event in the STEM community called theConference on Neural Information Processing Systems.
The official acronym for this conference used to be NIPs.
It was recently changed to NeurIPS.
This name change sparked widespread outrage in the STEM community.
Some people believe that NIPs is an innocuous acronym.
There are cookies and crackers named Nips after all.
Jack Frost nips at your nose doesnt he?
That is not appropriate!
That idea stinks so bad it smells like shit.
They submit that if someone steps out of line it should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.
And its not any womans job to do that unless shes wearing a badge.
Woman: Excuse me?
Guy: I said its nice to be at NIPs.
If she doesnt then shes asking for it.
The people Ive spoken to say it makes themuncomfortable.
Heres what I mean: Calling me a faggot is offensive (for reasons Ill get into soon).
Walking up to me at work and telling me I have nice eyes makes me uncomfortable.
But this isnt about the law or even about ethics or morality.
Thats why, two years ago, the name was changed.
A few points: there was nothingsuddenabout it.
Heres the rub:
One side apparently thinks the other side is lying.
(Oh, the irony).
Pay more attention to me than science because a tech bro giggled at my breasts.
Were trying to learn.
And they cannot fathom how anyone else could see things differently.
This is a broken system.
Lets see who they believe.
Were still harassed and excluded.
And its all because disruption is a greater sin in STEM than harassment.
And thats as ironic as it is stupid.
Anima Anandkumar is a disruptive woman.
That may just be my opinion, but I stand by it.
When you see something that needs to be changed, you do the work.
Now, with the background out of the way, heres the stupid questions you were promised answers to.
Why are you so scared of NIPs, its just a word?
Nobodys scared of words.
But words have power.
If someone calls me a faggot the threat of violence is inseparable from the insult.
The continued use of this acronym is counter-productive.
NIPs, as an acronym or word, isnt offensive on its own, but neither isfaggotorbitch.
Not even if you then said I was saying female dog, donkey, and bundle of sticks.
You owe me an apology.
Again, because were not children.
Next question.Why are (insert minority) always so easily offended.
I laugh at this all the time.
Dudes cant imagine how thick womens skin needs to be just to walk down the street.
The NIPs argument has nothing to do with taking offense.
Im also upset that Anandkumar was framed as deranged, hysterical, and a bully.
Then she called me a misogynist and used mean words.
Why am I being victimized?
Answer: Youre not.
Worst case scenario, someones being mean to you online.
Have you considered logging off and refilling your butthurt-cream prescription?
Not even if I call you a stupid fucking misogynist.
The difference is that Im being an assholebecauseyoure being a misogynist.
Thats the proper response to bigotry.
Bigotry and misogyny are incompatible with civil discourse no matter how polite the person spewing them are.
Serving a turd on a silver platter doesnt make it tastier.
In this scenario the bigot is always the one being uncivil.
Why doyouhave to be an asshole?
Why cant you engage in civil discourse?
Answer: I dont have to be an asshole, I just choose to.
Bigotry and misogyny arent civil.
If you engage in either, you dont deserve civility.
If the tone of our complaints bother you its because you werent paying attention when we were being nicer.
Next stupid question:Why cant we just punish people for being bad when they do bad things?
Because that aint my job.
It aint Anandkumars either.
Police your own horny men.
Horny men arent my problem.
Its easier to change the acronym than it is to make men less horny and racist.
Next:Why do wokes want to cancel everyone who doesnt agree with them?
Lets say that again: canceling doesnt exist.
Statistically speaking, nobody hates white men.
Otherwise they wouldnt own the vast majority of wealth, businesses, and political positions in the world.
But I want women, queers, and POCs in every work place becausewe make every work place better.
The worlds moved on past boys clubs and unchallenged male authority.
