It’s that beautiful time of the year again.
You know what that means?
Big Cat dropped his NFL head coaches picturebreakdown?
While that is true, it’s also time for baseball.
Nope, it’s time for the real thing.
Come Thursday all of our teams we shed blood, sweat, and tears for each year start 0-0.
A clean slate baby.
With that comes hope.
Some/most of it is misguided.
Maybe it is in fact your team’s year?
Only one way to find out.
There’s typically three tiers of teams each year.
15 seconds with nobody on base.
20 seconds with someone on.
Batters have to be in their stance, facing the pitcher ready to hit at the eight second mark.
Games during the spring were typically 2.5 hours long.
It’s going to be weird watching 7:10 PM first pitches this year end before 10:00 PM.
From the beginning of Spring Training to the end you saw violations decrease significantly.
you could no longer throw over to first a hundred times to stall.
You get two tries per at bat.
I sneaky think this causes more chaos in the long run than the pitch clock.
You will see a ton of stolen bases for now on.
Why’d they do it?
It truly has zero impact on the game itself other than safer gameplay.
Now we’re talking an era in human history where someone has a problem with quite literally everything.
I just know there’s one person out there.
Banning of the shift.Two infielders on either side of the bag at all times.
No more Manny Machado playing short right field with everyone on the right side for a pull happy batter.
Infielders must have both feet inside of the outfield grass prior to the pitch being thrown.
Schedule change.You no longer play your division 19 times a year.
Now you’re playing every team each year at least for one series.
Does add importance to when they play, but I always will want more.
Alright, let’s dive in…. By far the best park of having this service.
I’ll take it.
A lot of money, but necessary.
Top prospect Anthony Volpe was just promoted to the big leagues after a huge Spring.
No pressure, kid!
Still, Volpe out there makes the team better.
It’s just a shame Aaron Hicks and Josh Donaldson still have significant roles.
The bullpen should be excellent, especially with Michael King avoiding TJ surgery in the offseason.
Contend: Volpe continues his hot spring and thrives in New York, proving he belongs.
Health is the key factor here with how injury susceptible this team tends to be.
They’re off to a rough start in that department already.
You stay mostly healthy and the talent will pave the way to a lot of wins.
Will it be enough to finally dethrone Houston as the king of this league?
That remains to be seen, but the injection of youth here is for sure part of the solution.
Volpe, Oswaldo, and Oswald will all play big roles.
He needs to have a year.
Fail: Cashman’s gamble on the kids fails once again.
The injuries to Rodon and Severino become worse than initially thought and are too much to overcome.
Judge is unable to reproduce an MVP key in year and has a bit of a step back.
Toronto Blue Jays (o/u 92.5)
The Blue Jays were one of baseball’s bigger disappointments last season.
Do you remember how they got bounced in the postseason because I kinda forgot how insane it was.
If you’re a Blue Jay fan, shield your eyes.
There are no excuses this year.
The Jays have some of the louder players in the league and need to back it up in 2023.
I mean this lineup should absolutely rake from the jump.
Contend: On paper the Jays possess quite possibly the best offense in Major League Baseball.
There are very few forgiving spots as you attempt to navigate through that 1-9.
If they do their job this will be a contending baseball club no question about it.
Fail: If there’s a glaring weakness to the Toronto Blue Jays it’s their starting rotation.
While they do have names, I’m not sure I like them all.
After that though things get a bit harry.
Chris Bassit changes leagues and comes over from the Mets.
I do like him, but how will he fair in the AL East?
If you have an explanation as to what happened to Jose Berrios c’mon let me know.
This team is very good, but if they stumble that’s why.
What about this lineup is special in any way?
Contend: Glasnow just started throwing the other day as he recovers from his grade 2 oblique strain.
He’s probably missing the entire month of April, if not a little more.
You’re gonna be in dog fights with this team just begging to squeak out a run.
They’re not world beaters, but they’re tricky motherfuckers to go up against.
How they really contend is if Wander Franco becomes Wander Franco again.
What a weird 2022 for him, huh?
Sub .750 OPS and playing in half the year’s games.
The Rays need their star to carry their offense and he’s perfectly capable of doing so.
Fail: The lineup that I showed above produces the unsatisfactory results you’d expect.
Glasnow’s shaky health problems continue to rear their ugly head and plague another season of his.
Not adding really much at all to this team finally comes back to bite them in the ass?
I mean it’s downright malarkey they think they can put whoever out there and just figure it out.
I’ve had enough.
Boston Red Sox (o/u 77.5)
What are the Red Sox doing?
Not entertaining a Xander Bogaerts contract doesn’t get you there.
Pretty much ignoring the starting rotation doesn’t help.
Patching together this lineup with a used bandaid is not the best course of action.
Contend: By all measures the Red Sox overpaid for Japanese outfielder Masataka Yoshida.
The five year $90 million deal was far above any other offer out there.
But maybe he’s worth it?
There’s no path to success for Boston this year if Masataka Yoshida doesn’t have a year.
Devers will be Devers, he shouldn’t be a concern.
They need to be virtually unscathed across the board health wise to have a shot.
Sale, Kluber, Bello, Houck, Pivetta, Kutter Crawford, James Paxton.
Chaim Bloom settling for that group of SPs is a crime.
Also word to the wise, keep Whitlock in the pen.
If there’s a strength to this Sox team it’s actually their bullpen for a change.
For once I don’t hate it.
Fail: The Red Sox 77.5 win total is that low for a reason.
The lineup isn’t anything to write home about either.
There was no bigger surprise in baseball in 2022 than Baltimore.
They were fun as hell to watch do their thing.
When that happens, that’s when the front office should get involved and bring in some outside talent.
Inspire the guys in that clubhouse that the big guns upstairs believe this team can do something.
That’s a real thing that happened.
He also said they are not in a situation to have a $100 million payroll.
Just what the boys wanna hear.
Maybe that pushes the front office to buy at the deadline for once?
Fail: Adding zero to this team in the offseason just kills any chances of an improving year.
While the kids show out, it’s not enough to make any real noise.
Good news though, Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band are coming to town!
We’re already at 2,200 words what is wrong with me?
There’s no way I wrote this much last year.
I apologize for breaking whatever gadget you’re reading this off of.
It wasn’t worth it.
This was a mistake.
AL Central
Cleveland Guardians (o/u 87.5)
Tito Francona is so good at his job.
That man truly gets the most out of his players each and every year.
They return the same roster aside from adding Josh Bell into the middle of their lineup.
Their o/u sits at 87.5 which feels right.
After witnessing it last season, I want nothing to do with them in the postseason.
Contend: Did you know Andres Gimenez was a 7.4 WAR player last year?
Gold glove defense and a really solid bat will do that for ya.
He’s just a straight up really fun player to watch.
Do the Guardians necessarily deserve him with how cheap they are to their players?
Probably not, but at least they got a nice surprise after trading Lindor.
How does this team contend?
Fail: While the rotation is solid, it’s not great.
Similar to the lineup.
Feels like they caught a bit of a lucky draw with injuries last season.
Law of averages has that reversing in 2023.
Surely nothing bad could happen to a guy who was rejected by two separate team doctors.
He’ll be fine, nothing to worry about!
For whatever reason the Twins decided it was wise to trade the AL batting champ.
Shipping off Arraez did acquire the Twins their “ace”, however.
Pablo Lopez is good.
Can he be a true ace though?
Contend: Joey Gallo has a resurgence in Minnesota with his arch nemesis the shift banned from existence.
Buxton, Correa, and Gallo combine to assemble a deadly trio at the top of the lineup.
You know the last time he accomplished that feat?
28, 87, 39, 61, 92.
Those are his last five season’s game totals.
Minnesota desperately needs their star to stay on the field.
Things not going well for Minnesota sports?
This is my surprised face.
Chicago White Sox (o/u 83.5)
I’m mad at the White Sox for a few reasons.
In all that time this team has won two playoff games.
Last year they finished .500 and 11 games back of 1st.
Just an incredible waste of time and effort.
The other reason I’m mad is that they just allowed Jose Abreu to go to the Houston Astros.
What the fuck guys?
They added Andrew Benintendi on a pretty fair deal if you ask me.
Other than that you’re just running this back hoping for good health and bounce back years.
Contend: There is legit talent all over this lineup.
Why can’t these guys just mash all year and put up a ton of crooked numbers?
The rotation is good on paper as well and I don’t hate the pen.
Banish White Sox Dave back to the DR for the year and maybe you have something?
Fail: White Sox Dave remains alive and in your life very prominently.
Detroit Tigers (o/u 70.5)
The bottom of this division is just really sad.
The Tigers don’t plan on contending for a little while here and that might be sugarcoating it.
Fail: Just look at the roster.
Kansas City Royals (o/u 68.5)
I love Bobby Witt Jr. Melendez is extremely talented.
Salvy Perez is still doing his thing.
Vinnie Pasquantino is electric.
Yeah that’s about it.
It’s so funny to see Aroldis Chapman on this team.
3,200 words and counting.
Home stretch, we can do this.
They are about as well oiled a machine as it gets.
One guy leaves and they have his prime replacement ready to rock.
They lost Justin Verlander, one of the most important players in this franchise’s history.
Think that’s an exaggeration?
Look what that man did in his short time there.
Well, you lose him?
Here’s a carbon copy of him ready to step in named Hunter Brown.
The guy is a horse and pretty much copied his entire life based on JV.
It’s quite unfair they just have this dude ready to be unleashed.
Feels like something we could file a lawsuit about.
Framber, Javier, Urquidy, Garcia, Brown, McCullers.
It’s a dynamite starting rotation.
They lost Gurriel and added Jose Abreu.
Again, fuck you White Sox for allowing that to happen.
Seattle Mariners (o/u 87.5)
The Mariners finally broke through in 2022 and snapped their depressing playoff drought.
Now it’s time to build off that and carry actual expectations into 2023.
Sometimes it’s tough to repeat that magic after building such momentum.
Kolten Wong, AJ Pollack, and Teoscar Hernandez join the lineup to help give it more depth.
The rotation returns the same dangerous names, including now a full season of Luis Castillo.
This should be a playoff team once again, especially if J-Rod gets better.
Fail: The pressure to repeat that dream run to the postseason becomes too hard to replicate.
While that top 4 of the lineup should mash, the bottom 5 concern me a bit.
Kelenic really needs to put it together to help extend this lineup.
Texas Rangers (o/u 81.5)
Look at the Texas Rangers with an 81.5 over/under.
Does that mean playoffs?
Probably not, but they should be in the hunt for that final spot for most of the year.
Contend: deGrom, Eovaldi, Perez, Gray and Heaney is a real rotation of MLB pitchers.
Can’t remember the last time Texas had that.
Health is a huge factor here especially with Jake.
You get a full season from him in that spacious ballpark and good things will happen.
I’ve heard of worse bets than their over even if it might be a little inflated.
Fail: deGrom doesn’t stay on the field and as a result the rotation crumbles.
They’re probably not quite there yet.
The real time to buy in on Texas is when Jack Leiter breaks the surface.
Los Angeles Angels (o/u 81.5)
I truly don’t know what to say about this team anymore.
How does a squad with two generational players never even sniff the postseason?
Terrible ownership and horrific management will do that, but still come on already.
One time do something.
Contend: At the bare minimum the Angels should score a ton of runs.
I like the adds of Hunter Renfroe and Brandon Drury to the lineup.
They have to score because I don’t love the rotation after Shohei and Sandoval.
Trout’s health is imperative obviously.
He’s gotta play 130 games this season.
Hey maybe Anthony Rendon decides he wants to play baseball this year and actually earns some of that contract?
He had a monster spring, but we all know that means next to nothing.
Fail: Trout gets hurt.
Rendon chooses his ranch in Texas over his job.
Ohtani gets traded to the Dodgers at the deadline.
Sadness and despair follows as fans stare into the mirror asking God why Moreno didn’t sell.
Even in 2021 they won a respectable 86 games.
It’s not right what they’ve done to this club.
If you made it this far you are a real mensch.
Let’s have ourselves a season.
NL breakdown coming out tomorrow barring my fingers ceasing all function.
Here’s Alexandra Daddario to send us out
