Happy Opening Day to you and yours!
That tingling feeling in your balls right now?
It’s not testicular cancer, it’s hope..most likely.
Today is about us.
It’s our time!
Here’s theAL versionthat I spent way too much time on.
One of the best perks in the phone business or any business for that matter.
This isn’t even an ad, just me being a pal.
A small price for salvation.
There’s only one ESPN game on the schedule today?
It’s Opening Day across America and we’ve got one nationally televised game?
That’s growing the game?
What happened to the days of a quadruple header on the worldwide leader?
And before today’s postponements we had exactly zero day games planned for Friday?
What the actual fuck are we doing Rob?
Contend:This lineup is disgusting.
Like what the fuck do you do with this pre-October?
Chris Sale is the real x factor since he hasn’t thrown 150 innings in a season since 2018.
Strider-Fried-Sale as your 1-2-3 is nasty if they get that rolling in the right direction.
Fail:If you don’t contend with this lineup then something tragic happened.
Like catastrophic to the point where it involves death, multiple deaths.
They’re always aggressive with the trade market with Dombrowski always thinking about the present rather than the future.
Harper begins his full-time 1st base duties this season which should be interesting to follow.
Contend:Seems like the pattern for them lately has been start slow and finish blazing hot.
Fail:Philadelphia’s 3-4-5 in the rotation of Suarez, Sanchez, and Turnbull can be an issue.
Also how does Alvarado hold up as the full time closer with Kimbrel out of the picture?
Mets (81.5)
The Mets are more than likely playing for the future.
As for the current roster?
Edwin Diaz’s return to the 9th inning leads to lots of trumpets and things being put into books.
Somehow Quintana, Megill, Manaea, and Houser are enough to not sink the ship until Senga returns.
Fail:I’m expecting a lot of Tank freak outs.
Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake they extend Pete.
2025 is when I expect this team to be players again.
Marlins (78.5)
I wish the Marlins were better because they do have some fun pieces.
Their strength was supposed to be amazing, young pitching, but they’re all sidelined.
It’s Jesus Luzardo and then a rag tag group of starters.
Offensively they lost Soler, which hurts.
A lineup that was already not a strength, got worse.
Contend:Perez, Garrett, and Cabrera all magically return from injury and dominate.
Josh Bell hits 40+ bombs, Jazz bounces back, and Arraez wins the batting title again.
Is that enough for a wild card spot?
Should have kept Kim Ng.
James Wood, Dylan Crews, and Brady House all crack the MLB top 50 of prospects.
How quickly do we see Crews though?
Is he a 2024 guy?
That would be awesome.
Watching that kid hit at LSU was special.
What a polished hitter that guy is.
Bring him up if he’s having his way early.
That and Crews comes up in the 2nd half and absolutely hits the shit out of the ball.
Just give the fans something to come to the park for.
Fail:It’s the Nats.
Patrick Corbin is your number 2.
The bullpen is an atrocity that can and will blow any lead handed to them.
How does that even happen with some of the talent on the roster?
The answer is pitching.
Their starting rotation ERA was bottom five in the sport.
To counter that they brought in Sonny Gray, Kyle Gibson, and Lance Lynn.
Someone has to win this.
2024 actually can’t be worse than 2023 was for St. Louis, right?
Paul Goldschmidt needs to have a vintage Goldy year.
All of his numbers in 2023 were well below his career averages, and he was healthy.
That can’t happen again.
The same goes for Arenado.
If those two are clicking then the Cardinals can get back in business.
Fail:While the Cards brought in some veteran help for the rotation, it’s not enough.
Things get bleak from there about the direction of the franchise.
Cubs (84.5)
Hard to not love the Cubs' offseason.
They waited out the market perfectly and ended up getting Cody Bellinger back on a very team friendly deal.
I’ll convince myself to take them on Friday afternoon’s at home no problem.
Shota has some nasty stuff as well.
Dude struck out 25 guys in spring in just 12.2 innings.
He doesn’t walk many and gets a ton of whiffs.
How much soft content he generates will be the question.
If Shota can be a reliable arm for them, this team’s prospects shoot up to the sky.
Speaking of prospects, did you know the Cubs have SEVEN top 100 guys in their system?
Fail:Bellinger proves the nerds right that his soft contact success wasn’t sustainable.
He resorts back to inconsistent results.
Shota gets rocked in his first year with the team and instead of competing they slide below 80 wins.
Reds (81.5)
Am I crazy to love the Reds?
I can watch Elly do just about anything and be amazed.
Him doing his entire press conference in English yesterday was very cool.
That’ll put a bigger load on India and Candelario’s shoulders.
Fail:Not to sound like Bill Simmons, but are we sure Hunter Greene is good?
Is the potential always gonna elevate him in talks more than it should?
Are we so distracted by the fastball velo that we ignore the rest?
Maybe relying on Frankie Montas to be your ace was a bad idea?
You deal Corbin Burnes, but then go get Rhys Hoskins and Gary Sanchez?
Clearly there isn’t much chance for winning here, so why bother at all?
Why not go full reset and trade Devin Williams and Willy Adames as well?
The last thing a bad team needs is a great closer.
Pirates (75.5)
I’d like to watch Oneil Cruz play baseball again.
That man puts asses in the seats with his freak athletic abilities.
How about Elly and Oneil involved in the same game together?
The Pirates added some role playing vets in the offseason, but no one crazy.
They’re gonna try the Royals plan of signing Aroldis Chapman and then flipping him at the deadline.
What we really care about is when does Paul Skenes makes his debut.
No, but actually his debut will be must watch.
Similar to Crews being appointment television at the plate at LSU, that was Skenes on the mound.
Contend:Skenes comes up and gives us a rerun of what Stephen Strasburg did in his rookie year.
Again, by contend I mean maybe they fight for the division.
There are levels to this.
Fail:Not enough pitching.
NL West
Dodgers (103.5)
Ohtani, Yamamoto, Teoscar, and Glasnow.
Come the fuck on.
This offense will keep them in games all the time.
It’s a relentless lineup.
You’re going to see insane gambling lines with this team throughout the season.
A home game against the Rockies might dub them a -500 favorite.
Then things begin to unwind and you’re looking at the rest of the rotation like a confused puppy.
Braves Dodgers NLCS seems so predictable that something has to go wrong, right?
GM Mike Hazen went out this offseason and made it his bitch.
What a job by this front office to keep pressing.
Contend:One could say last year was a fluke, but the upgrades quickly dispel that logic.
Corbin Carroll impacts the game in so many ways.
Also don’t forget my favorite reliever in all of baseball Kevin Ginkel.
Goddamn do I like this team.
Fail:I just said so much good, how do I spin it into bad?
You know I didn’t mean any of those words.
Giants (83.5)
Another team that saw weaknesses with their roster and got aggressive.
Blake Snell, Jorge Soler, Jung Hoo Lee, Matt Chapman, Robbie Ray, and Jordan Hicks?
This is basically a brand new team we’ve got here.
This offseason they waited out the market and hunted to perfection.
They’ve reloaded in a big way and are poised for resurgence.
Maybe when they visit New York the football Giants will actually take them out to dinner this time.
Forget it’s the A’s, just focus in on stuff and location.
A welcomed sight to see him in San Fran.
Insane stat: The Giants haven’t had a 30 home run hitter since Bonds in ‘04.
Padres (83.5)
The Padres were busy this offseason.
If you didn’t know already, Juan Soto is on the New York Yankees.
Pretty cool, huh?
Shortly after that deal, Thorpe was shipped off to Chicago for Dylan Cease.
For a franchise that doesn’t want to add payroll, Cease was the perfect addition.
Darvish, Musgrove, Cease, and King form a really nice foursome in the rotation.
He throws way too many pitches per innning, walks guys, and doesn’t go deep in games.
Yu Darvish enters his age 38 season and Joe Musgrove looked like shit in his first start.
Michael King is the x factor.
He looked incredible down the stretch for the Yankees in his audition as a starting pitcher.
Can he hold up physically to do it all year long?
That’s a big question mark.
The Padres bullpen scares me as well.
Like the Giants, I feel like their over/under was set because of the unpredictability here.
Rockies (60.5)
Did you know that Kris Bryant still plays baseball?
Their rotation is poor and the offense only comes to life at home.
They did a smart thing and locked up Ezequiel Tovar for a team friendly seven year deal.
They must have gotten hacked for a day.
That’s the only way this season goes well for them.
Fail:I have no idea what this team is doing or what they want to accomplish.
Coors is fun to go to though!
And that’s the whole league.
My god do my fingers hurt.
I’m sure you’ll disagree with some of the stuff I wrote.
Safe to say he was right.
To each their own.
I love the passion and I love baseball.
Opening Day has arrived.
Let’s be safe out there.
As always gambling responsibly.
